Drag
by pikajow
Summary: Being a Drag Queen or King was not about dressing up and whoring yourself. It was about becoming a different person and showing everyone who cared with a dance. Ichigo was a Drag Queen, and he loved every second of it. He meets Shiro and they fall in love but reality catches up with them both.
1. Chapter 1

**Drag**

**Summary: Being a Drag Queen or King was not about dressing up and whoring yourself. It was about becoming a different person and showing everyone who cared with a dance. Ichigo was a Drag Queen, and he loved every second of it. He meets Shiro and they fall in love but reality catches up with them both.**

**Chapter 1**

Ichigo arched when Grimmjow thrust into him, closing his eyes and turning his head away. Tears built up in his eyes, a small cry escaping his throat. Grimmjow's hand covered his mouth, Ichigo's tears breaking through. They were on the floor, Grimmjow's dad awake downstairs, his sisters asleep not that far away. They had a small sleepover, Ichigo and Grimmjow sleeping on the floor, Karin and Yuzu on the king sized bed.

Ichigo reached up, needing comfort from the pain. Grimmjow's hair was thick but soft between his fingers, Ichigo pulling slightly when another hard thrust brushed over his sweet spot that helped stop the pain. But soon the confusing pleasure would dwindle away, leaving only pain.

Ichigo wanted to tell Grimmjow it hurt, it was their first time and he had wanted it to perfect. They had just finished high school and got into Karakura University and it was worth celebrating. The only one celebrating was Grimmjow.

He stopped after what seemed too long, seeing Ichigo's tears through the darkness. He leaned down, thrusting in shallowly, Ichigo's small pained cries muffled by his hand.

"Am I hurting you?" he whispered into his ear, Ichigo nodding his head. Grimmjow grunted before pulling out, rising up so his head was just below the edge of the bed. He stroked himself, Ichigo shivering. He wanted to curl into a ball, to wash away the pain and guilt he felt. The disgust was almost overwhelming, his body recoiling slightly when hot semen rushed over his stomach and thighs.

Grimmjow fell to the side of him, his fingers running through the cum before traveling down to Ichigo's hole. He touched him a bit on the outside before slipping his finger inside. That was Ichigo's first sexual encounter and how his innocent virginity was taken. He had sat in the shower, his ass burning and his lower back aching. Grimmjow moved to America the next day and Ichigo went to Karakura University. There, he shed all his nativity and lived.

After a dangerous encounter and almost getting gang raped with a bunch of drunken people he had called friends, Ichigo was rescued by one man.

Urahara wasn't a man of power, but a man of pleasure, entertainment, and knowledge. And with a major fix, he turned Ichigo into a man he had only wished to be. He began to work at his Club as a Drag Queen, and with it, his life began.

XDIDYOUKNOW?X

Ichigo pouted, bringing a lipstick brush to his lips. He smeared the red paste over his lips till they were as red as apples, rubbing his lips together to even out the texture.

"Hurry up Queen!" Renji yelled, Ichigo putting down the brush.

"Wait a second will ya!" he yelled back, picking up his orange wig. He slicked back his short hair, putting on the wig. He pinned it down with some bobby pins, smacking his lips before standing, slicking down the dress he wore. It was a beautiful black, strapless but hugging his waist and chest tightly. Red stripes were printed on the sides, the dress reaching about mid thigh, hugging his legs tight. He looked to his legs, the black stockings hiding the fact he hadn't shaved his legs for a week.

He was really hoping no one noticed. He checked over himself one more time, thinking of putting his straight haired wig into a ponytail.

Would that give him more of a bad girl look or just ruin the image?

"Ichigo!" Renji yelled, Ichigo walking swiftly away from the mirror, opening his dressing room door. He gasped, grabbing his black heels. He pulled them on, walking quickly from his room. He walked down a long hallway, dressing room doors opened. The dressing rooms were all connected in one big room on the right side of the building. The doors were just for decoration. He stepped out of the hallway into a mini bar, hardwood replaced with tile.

"Brandy," he ordered, a shot placed in front of him before he could sit. He downed it quickly to calm his jittery nerves, slamming the cup down before throwing his head back.

The bartender, Izuru, just shook his head.

"You make taking a shot look like a sexual orgasm," he chuckled, Ichigo sending him a nasty glare before heading to a white door and opening it. His ears were tormented by loud music and screams, the early hour already having most of the people in the club buzzed. It was Friday, people got off early and partied till Saturday came along with a hangover.

For Ichigo, the fun was just beginning. Renji was just finishing his dance, excited shivers making goosebumps rise over the exposed expansion of his arms and chest. He smiled wide when Renji bent over, shaking his ass to the howling crowd. Ichigo had to admit, he was attractive inside and out of his makeup. He rubbed his biceps, shaking off his nerves, waiting to be called.

They weren't strippers, at least not by normal standards.

A Drag Queen or King was a person who dressed and went out of their way achieve the appearance of the opposite sex all for the main purpose of entertaining. It was a conscious decision they had full control over. Renji finished his dance with a small kiss to the crowd, the light dimming as he picked up his money before leaving the stage. Urahara stepped onto the stage, a microphone in hand.

The day was turning to night, and there would soon be a switch in the way they danced or acted depending on their stage names. Ichigo was Queen, or by Renji's standards, the Queen of the Night. He liked that name.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we all know what this moment is." The hoard of people roared, his stage name starting from a low murmur and becoming a raging wave of voices. Ichigo felt like he shouldn't be so loved by the people, since he wasn't the oldest or most experienced person in the club. But, by his coworkers standards, he had earned this fame. He was raw and unique, and the people loved it.

Ichigo loved dancing. He had never felt so alive when he danced. Every muscle was in sync, every fiber of his being burned, and his mind was lost in an ecstasy of music and movement.

"Please be good subjects and welcome our beautiful, majestic, Queen!" Ichigo waited till Urahara lowered the microphone from his lips before stepping from the small corner, his steps slow, his eyes lidded and his smirk leaving no room for argument. Urahara walked off the stage after a low bow, the crowd going crazy. Ichigo looked into the crowd, breathing through his nose. His song was a slow tempo that rumbled the ground, almost a demanding trumpet and far from an innocent beat. It was hot, sexy, and exposed. It was Ichigo.

"Take it off!" a man yelled, Ichigo's smirk widening as he fingered the zipper on the front of his dress, his hips shaking as he danced to the center of the stage. He faced the crowd, touching a finger to his lip. He slowly pulled down the zipper, increasing the tension in the room tenfold as his creamy skin was exposed. His nipples hardened in the cold air, red tattoos leading away from his nipples and over his pectoral, stopping an inch or two from his spine. The lines went all the way down to his ribs, but after a brief glimpse of skin, a corset covered the rest of his upper torso from the hollering crowd.

He rolled his belly as the dress fell from his body, the dress falling to the floor. Silk underwear were attached by thin strips of cloth to the thigh high stockings. The crowd went wild. He went over to the pole, swinging around it slowly before jumping up, his legs holding on tight to the pole. He arched back, running his hands down his body, his legs suddenly loosening around the pole. He heard someone gasp but his hands touched the ground before he could hit his head, his body twisting like a feline as he got onto all fours on the floor.

He crawled towards the edge of the stage, rising up onto his knees. He smoothed his hair back, exposing his neck to the crowd. He lightly thrust into the air before going onto all fours, thrusting against the floor. The crowd went wild, money pushed into his corset some sneakily groping his nipples. They were animals, and he had full control over them. He got onto his feet, rolling his belly and thrusting into the air, running his hand through his hair.

Money was stuffed into his stockings and underwear as he danced in front of the crowd, Ichigo getting to his knees when a man raised a hundred note. The man was rather pale, the flashing lights coloring his skin with hues of red, yellow, purple, and pink. Ichigo got to all fours, inching that much closer to the crowd. Money was stuffed into his clothing, hands wise not to grope his groin. Money fell and Ichigo could hardly care, the man intriguing him. The hundred note was placed in his underwear, the man's fingers lingering just slightly.

Ichigo pulled away, his pelvis tingling just slightly from the contact. He crawled back to the pole, pressing his back against it before putting a finger to his left knee. He spread his legs, his hands skimming up his thigh over his underwear, fingering the bowed lace at the end of his corset. He pulled at his underwear, but then quickly closed his legs. He stood up, rubbing his ass against the pole before bending over, the cold metal feeling to almost beg to slip between his cheeks.

He rose back up, raising his arms above his head, grabbing the pole before sliding down, spreading his legs. His eyes met the pale man's again, his pelvis tingling again even though he hadn't touched him. His song came to an end, Ichigo twirling on the pole one last time before retrieving his money as the light dimmed.

He walked off the stage, picking up his dress on the way out. He walked back into the bar, sitting down on a stool. Renji was sitting there too, one dance enough for him for the night. They both had other jobs they had to attend, so they could dance no more than once a night. It was a dirty pleasure they both enjoyed. Renji was dressed down to his more male clothing, all make up removed. His long hair was put up in a ponytail, a shot of tequila in his hand.

Ichigo didn't know how he could stand that disgusting shit.

"That stuff is disgusting," Ichigo told him as he took the money from his clothing, Renji looking to him from the corner of his eyes.

"I'll wait here Queen," he mumbled, Ichigo sighing but heading toward the dressing rooms. He sat down, looking out of the corner of his eye to Rukia. She was slicking back her hair, her small body clad in a casual suit. Duck tape sat on the counter, Ichigo smirking.

"Your tits must hurt like hell," he teased, Rukia looking to him. She smirked.

"Your dick must be whimpering for air," she teased back, the two laughing off their insults. They had seen each other naked enough to know that insults did not go a very long way. He took off the corset and sighed in relief. He couldn't breath for crap in that thing.

He took off his heels then stripped off his underwear connected stockings, standing up naked and gathering any money that fell. He pulled on a dark pair of jeans before pulling off the wig, careful that it didn't pull at the sides of his hair or the center. He pulled on a plain purple shirt, throwing a gray jacket with fur on the hood over it. He put on a brown and beige striped scarf and some combat boots, shivering in the warmth. He counted the money, coming down to three hundred and fifty six.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired to seeing your naked ass," Renji commented from the door, Rukia on the stage. She never liked seeing him naked.

"Pirate, please don't harass me at work," Ichigo responded. Renji chuckled but didn't take offense to it. Ichigo grabbed his bag and they left out the backdoor which was connected to the minibar, Izuru waving them a good bye.

"Night!" Ichigo called over his shoulder, he and Renji starting their twenty minute walk home. They were roommates in a quite large apartment, having both a bathroom and kitchen. In some lower class apartments, there wasn't a bathroom. It was a two bedroom, though the rooms were small. Neither cared, they lived rather comfortable lives there.

Ichigo sighed, his breath appearing as white mist in front of him. It floated in place until he walked through it, the mist running over his cheeks and nose. He looked down when he felt a hand touch his, looking to Renji. He didn't look to him, just ahead. Ichigo bit his lip, bumping his hand against his. His fingers brushed his palm.

"Excuse me?" Ichigo was quick to return his hand to his side, looking over his shoulder. It was the pale man from the club, his skin even more pale in the moonlight. Ichigo gave him a small smile, his first thought of him screaming foreigner. His accent, more clear from his distance proving him right.

"I'm an exchange student from Africa, and I have forgotten where my apartment was at," the guy told them, Renji raising a brow.

He was a tad too white to be African.

Ichigo knew it was a sensitive matter but asked anyway.

"Are you an albino?" he asked, the guy nodding.

"I'm Zaki, but my friends here call me Shiro," he told them. Ichigo smiled, never before meeting an albino.

"I'm Ichigo, this my roommate Renji," he told him, a sudden heat coming from Renji.

"Have the address?" he asked, Shiro taking out a small piece of paper. Ichigo took it, Renji standing next to him, staring down at the paper with a frown. Ichigo smiled, handing the paper back to the albino.

"You are actually our neighbor. Just follow us," he told him, Shiro nodding. He tucked his paper back in his black sweater, the small thing definitely not protecting him from the Japan fall weather.

"Are you cold?" he asked as they walked to their apartment complex, looking over his shoulder. He could feel Renji's tension like a heat, and the jealousy was only making it hotter. Shiro shook his head.

"I am more used to hotter weather, but this cold weather is pretty relaxing," he told him, Ichigo smirking at that. He looked to Renji with a raised eyebrow when the heat became cold. His eyes drifted away from a parked car to him, his brown eyes jealous. Ichigo's eyes widened for a second before lowering, a small smile touching his lips. His fingers brushed over his palm again. His eyes softened, his hand closing around his fingers. Their hands did a small dance before their fingers linked, Renji's warmth making Ichigo shiver slightly.

"I know I shouldn't ask, but are you two going out?" Ichigo looked over his shoulder while Renji looked away.

"You can say that," he told him, Shiro smiling.

"I had a boyfriend back home, but he moved to America while I moved here," he told him, Ichigo's small smile faltering.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he murmured, feeling his show of love he had tried to hide but failed to was hurting Shiro's feelings. He probably missed his boyfriend and his show of love was like a scar to his memory.

Renji held tight onto his hand though, Ichigo's cheeks heating up. They walked in silence for the rest of the way, Renji letting go of Ichigo's hand as they entered the elevator. Ichigo pressed four, Shiro walking in and standing in front of them.

"I always hated elevators," Shiro muttered, Ichigo smiling. He had a terrible phobia of elevators but he and Renji had been working on it. He was less terrified, but his hands that were clinging to the rail behind him still spelled fear. The elevator stopped and they walked out, Shiro's room a few doors down from the elevator. Ichigo waited till Shiro got into his room before following Renji into theirs, not surprised when he was pushed against the door when he closed it.

"I don't see why you get so jealous," Ichigo sighed, Renji pressing his body close to his. Ichigo smiled when his hand slipped beneath his coat and shirt, teasing his skin.

"You refer to me as just a roommate. You know i'm a lot more than that." Ichigo accepted his kiss, his hand slipping into his pants. Ichigo moaned softly, reaching up and unzipping his coat. He arched off the door, the jacket's silky insides sliding down his body and to the floor. He locked to door.

His shirt was discarded to the ground along with his jeans and boots. He stood naked in front of Renji against the door, his eyes lidded with pleasure. His thighs shook as Renji took his cock into his mouth, his chest heaving. His hand rested on his head but didn't try to make him force down more than he could.

His tongue played with the slit before he took the entire head into his mouth, sucking around the prone flesh. Ichigo bit his lip, his other hand reaching up and pinching his nipple. It didn't feel as good as when Renji did it, Ichigo rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger. That brought more of a reaction. His eyelids fluttered as Renji took him deeper before pulling back up, tonguing the slit. Ichigo pulled him away, going down to his knees.

"Enough," he muttered, leaning forward and kissing him. Renji let himself be pushed down onto his back, his tongue slipping into his mouth. Ichigo tilted his head to the side, sucking his tongue into his mouth. He grinded against him, whimpering from the friction his jeans created. He rose up, unzipping his jacket and pushing up his shirt, leaning down and licking his nipple. He slid his tongue over the tattoo there, biting down hard on his nipple. Renji arched with a deep sigh, closing his eyes as Ichigo's tongue pampered his many tattoo's.

Ichigo rose up, straddling Renji's thighs. He licked his lips, the salty taste of his skin lingering on his tongue. He unbuttoned his pants then pulled down the zipper, rising up so Renji could lift his hips. He pulled his pants down, glad he went commando. He leaned down and licked the head before putting his fingers into his mouth. He didn't need lube, and Renji didn't have the patience to wait.

Ichigo licked his three fingers till saliva slid down over his palm and wrist, pulling them out and rubbing them in the saliva on his palm. He rose up a little more and reached beneath himself. He grabbed his balls, running them over his wet palm, teasing himself into a stupor. He released them when Renji's hand grabbed his wrist.

"Don't forget about me," he muttered, Ichigo blinking back into reality. He let go of his balls and circled his hole with a finger, rising up slightly with a hiss as it sunk in. Renji rubbed his thighs, his right hand sliding up high and grabbing his cock.

"I saw you dance," he told him, Ichigo grunting as he worked the finger deeper, swishing it back and forth to stretch his hole.

"You had been so sexy when you spread your legs like a whore," he said with a smirk, Ichigo opening his eyes with a small groan. He put in another finger, shaking his hips at the intrusion.

"You were begging me to fuck you like one huh?" Renji asked, Ichigo moaning loudly. He removed his fingers after scissoring them a few times, spitting into his hand. He rubbed it on the tip of Renji's cock before grabbing the base and positioning it. He situated himself before lowering himself down, throwing his head back when Renji grabbed his waist and forced him down halfway.

Ichigo released the shaft and placed his hands on Renji's chest, panting from the sudden mix of pleasure and pain. He raised himself up, keeping only the head inside. He lowered himself up and down at a quick pace several times before lowering himself down halfway, his thighs shaking against his hips.

He couldn't touch his prostate with so little in him, but his body reacted like the pain was pleasure. His stomach tightened and that pressure built in his balls and tingled his spine, his orgasm crawling closer. He lowered himself that much more, taking in all of him. A sudden shock that made him jolt and nearly pull away completely snapped up his spine before shooting back down and squeezing his balls in a mock orgasm.

"Oh god," he gasped, grinding against that spot. Renji grabbed his ass, sinking his nails into his flesh. Ichigo cried out in pleasure when he held him in place and thrust up into him, going impossibly deeper.

"I'll make you my whore," Renji growled, Ichigo shaking his head with a cry. He grabbed his hands and pinned them to the ground, growling low in Renji's ear. He grunted when he was turned onto his back, his hands now pinned down to the floor. Renji showed him no mercy, thrusting hard and jagged into him. Ichigo thrust up his hips to meet his, his toes curling as his prostate was brushed against.

"I'm the Queen," he growled, his head unable to stay up, hitting the floor with a thud. Renji smirked, thrusting harder into him.

"Your a whore Queen," he growled, Ichigo wrapping his legs around his waist. He arched when teeth sunk into his neck, lightning shooting up his spine. He came with a hoarse scream, Renji grabbing his leg and pushing it close to his chest. Ichigo was oversensitive but Renji was far from finished.

Ichigo gasped, gritting his teeth as his erection slowly built back up, Renji pushing his leg closer to his chest before thrusting in harder. Ichigo arched when he bit his neck so hard he broke the skin, feeling warm blood slide down his neck.

"Ren-Renji not so hard," he gasped, crying out when he thrust in harder. The pleasure was slowly becoming pain, Ichigo reaching between his legs and stroking his erection.

"Renji!" he cried out, his other hand grabbing his shoulder. Hair that had fell from his ponytail trailed over his fingers, Ichigo writhing when he licked away the blood.

"Take it like a whore," Renji growled, Ichigo gasping when he suddenly pulled out. He cried out in shock when he was suddenly flipped onto all fours, his sounds of pleasure he had been trying to muffle breaking through as he thrust back into him. Renji grabbed Ichigo's thighs, spreading them as he thrust into him harder. Ichigo gasped and moaned, his thighs shaking and his erection leaking precum all over the floor. Renji released one of his thighs and grabbed his hair, thrusting into him like an animal.

"You like this don't you?" Renji growled, Ichigo yelping when he slapped his ass. He grit his teeth until he came, his hair released once the pulses in his body ceased. Ichigo stroked himself once and came all over the floor, his entire body sore. He tried not to fall onto the floor when Renji pulled out, his arms and legs shaking. Renji left to go get a towel to clean up, Ichigo falling on the side of his puddle of cum. He blinked blearily, a clear thought passing through his mind.

'I'm not a whore.'

**Author's note: Renji isn't abusive, just insensitive. Ichigo has found himself the perfect life, but not the perfect man. Who does in this world or the next?**


	2. Chapter 2: Jealousy

**Chapter 2**

Ichigo woke up in a sweat, a warm heater behind him. He kept his eyes closed, basking in the moment as Renji's strong arms tightened around him. He grabbed the hand that rested on his hip, raising it up to his chest. He squeezed it once, breathing in deeply. The hand rubbed against his nipple.

"Mornin," Renji slurred sleepily, pressing his face to the back of Ichigo's neck. He kissed the mole he had there, Ichigo smiling softly. He looked to the clock, frowning. They had an hour till they had to go to work. They worked from four in the morning till four in the afternoon. Ichigo danced at the club at midnight and Renji at eleven thirty.

They sleep through most of the day, but when they could they fucked like rabbits. They worked at a pharmacy called Las Noches Pharmacy. Ichigo after only a year became the assistant manager but Renji preferred to be at the front desk giving medication. Ichigo had been brought in at random times, but since it was his second year at assistant manager things actually got a tad less crazy. He didn't tell Renji, but he was offered a job at a hospital downtown.

"What time is it?" Renji mumbled, Ichigo looking to the clock again like the time had changed an entire hour in just a few seconds.

"Three," he yawned, thinking he might as well get up now. He let go of Renji's hand and sat up, pushing the blanket off his legs. That exposed Renji's lower section, his morning erection proudly rising from between his thighs. The wooden floor was cold beneath his feet, Ichigo shivering slightly. A hand grabbed his shoulder, stopping him from standing.

"Where are you going?" Renji slurred against his back as he rose up, kissing his shoulder. His other hand slid around his waist, pulling him closer to his body.

"We have another hour, lets get to know each other a little better," Renji husked against his flesh, Ichigo shivering as his warm breath caused goosebumps to ripple all over his body. Even though his body reacted so readily for his attention, he just wasn't in the mood for sex.

"Not today," he sighed, grabbing Renji's hand and removing it from his shoulder. The arm around his waist didn't budge.

"Yes today," Renji growled against his back, Ichigo dragged back onto his lap. The orange haired man wasn't having it.

"I said no," he retorted, struggling lightly. He only rubbed against Renji's erection which made him even more horny. Ichigo yelped when he was suddenly laying on his stomach, that comforting heat washing over his back. A hand reached beneath his waist and lifted his hips, soft lips placing a small kiss to his ass. Ichigo was about to protest but stopped when there was a knock at the door.

"Don't answer it," Renji ordered but ichigo had already maneuvered from his grip and was putting on a pair of boxers.

"It could be someone important," he told him as he walked to the bedroom door. He knew it couldn't be at this time in the morning, but avoiding sex was his mission. He ignored Renji's growl of irritation and walked to the front door, opening it with a smile. His smile became a stare of confusion when he saw Shiro standing at his door step.

"H-Hey," he stuttered out, looking over his shoulder to see if Renji had followed him to the door. He hadn't so Ichigo turned his attention back to Shiro.

"I needed to ask you a question about something. I just got back from work and bought some food, but I don't how to prepare what I want or what to use," Shiro told him, Ichigo's lips twitching up into a smile.

"What are you trying to cook?" he asked, Shiro taking a small piece of paper from his pocket.

"Miso soup and a spicy tuna bowl," he read, Ichigo raising an eyebrow.

"I have a cookbook my sister gave me when I first moved out. I can let you borrow it. It has many different recipes in there," he told him, Shiro giving him a bright smile of relief. Ichigo let him in and he sat down on the couch, Ichigo looking in the small compartment beneath the TV.

"I'm guessing you didn't cook too well when you were younger?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding, nearly hitting his head.

"Yeah, my mother died when I was very young and my little sister started cooking for the family. She is a very good teacher," Ichigo told him, finding the book he was looking for. He sat back and wiped a bit of dust from the cover before turning around. He nearly screamed when he noticed that Shiro was kneeling behind him. He put a hand to his chest, Shiro smirking in amusement. He backed away.

"Sorry, I got curious," he told him, Ichigo nodding as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. He hadn't even heard him. He handed him the book with a smile, Renji finally leaving the confines of the room. He was dressed in boxers and a wife beater, his eyes narrowing slightly at Shiro. The pale man stared back.

"Well, I hope that helps you," Ichigo sighed as he stood, Renji looking to Ichigo. There's was a barely there smirk on Shiro's pale lips.

"It will a lot, thank you," Shiro thanked, walking to the door. Ichigo followed, opening it for him. He closed it once he left with a small goodnight. He turned to Renji who looked rather irritated. Ichigo didn't really care, he didn't have time for his antics.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower," he yawned, Renji's frown smoothing out as he passed him. He grabbed his waist as he passed, pulling him into an embrace. Ichigo rolled his eyes but let himself be held.

"You got jealous again," Ichigo grumbled, Renji kissing his neck.

"How else am I supposed to feel when you open the door with only your boxers on?" he asked, Ichigo rolling his eyes. He answered the door naked once while he had a fever. Rukia had been scarred for life but at least she had the decency to lead him back inside and and make him go to bed.

"I think you're just insecure," Ichigo told him, pulling out of his embrace. Renji frowned in disbelief.

"I don't see why though, I only crave your cock," Ichigo told him as he entered the bathroom, Renji smirking with pride. That awkward morning was put behind them and they washed up and went to work.

**Author's note: Short I know. Had been rather busy lately.  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Kitten

**Chapter 3**

Ichigo smiled as he walked down the street, a bag from the drugstore lightly drumming against his thigh. Renji had gotten sick after partying all night at a friends, making Ichigo have to make up a good excuse to their boss and work double shift. To anyone else the smile on his face was of love, but it was playing out differently in his mind.

"Come on Ichi! I understand I messed up, but you won't kill me would you?!"

"I thought you were telling me the truth when you said you wouldn't party anymore. But you know what they say?"

Ichigo's smile became dark, a young woman looking to him with concern.

"An eye for an eye, ne? Be careful though, you only have two."

Ichigo was pulled from his daydream when he saw black in his vision. He had passed the busy streets of the city and coming closer to homes, there were only a bunch of cars and trees. The small black thing stood out though, Ichigo stopping completely. The small black thing was a kitten, probably only a year old. He smiled a tad at that, putting down the bag.

The cat was staring back at him with beautiful yellow green eyes, standing on a lawn with one paw raised. It seemed cautious of him and Ichigo kneeled. His height was not great, but to such a small thing he must have been terrifying. The kitten slowly walked up to him, Ichigo seeing the kitten had all four paws white, the back legs having the pigment reach higher than the front. It's chest was also white, almost like a tux. That made Ichigo smile.

The small kitten was dressed for a party. That made him laugh inside a little bit, his eyes warm as the kitten rubbed up against his leg. It's head lifted and Ichigo felt his breath taken away as those big eyes looked up to him curiously. They were more of a rusted color than clear, Ichigo smiling down to it.

He pet his head, letting his hand slide down it's body and up it's raised tail. It's fur was so soft, Ichigo feeling right at home with it. It rolled onto it's back, pawing the ground sideways, stretching and slowly moving up. Ichigo chuckled, petting it's white belly. Already he loved the little thing to death, but it soon got curious of his bag. It walked up to it, Ichigo still petting it as it pawed it.

"It's for my boy friend. He's an idiot," Ichigo told the kitten, the little thing looking to him. It's eyes were curious and understanding, ichigo having an overwhelming urge to take it home. But there was a collar around it's neck so he knew he couldn't that. Renji didn't like cats anyway. Those thoughts only made him more sad though, Ichigo frowning. The kitten noticed his distress and jumped onto the back of his shirt, but since it was a tad loose it couldn't hold on. Ichigo smiled again.

"You are so adorable do you know that?" The kitten rolled over again, doing it a few times, getting too close to the curb. Ichigo shook his head.

"Don't go into the street," he told him, the kitten doing so after to seeming to realize he was centimeters from rolling into the street. He stood up and rubbed against Ichigo's leg again, looking up to him before circling him, rubbing all over him. Ichigo couldn't help but smile wide at that.

"Don't go into the street, people are careless now a days," he told him, petting his head. The kitten turned it's head into his touch, rubbing against his palm. Ichigo's smile slowly fell as the kitten went back to observing the bag, reminding him of Renji.

He didn't want to go back. He was already so attached to the kitten his heart ached when he thought of leaving it behind. He grit his teeth, wanting to stay just a few more seconds. His legs grew heavy as he tried to think of a lie to tell Renji as to why he returned late. He grabbed the bag, the kitten looking to him with wide eyes. Ichigo felt like crying, feeling like he was leaving his child. He stood, the kitten jogging a few paces in front of him. It stopped till ichigo caught up and repeated, Ichigo laughing softly at that.

"You're a real goof ball aren't you?" he asked, the kitten walking back to the lawn he came from. Ichigo's heart felt heavy as he walked away, his chin feeling heavy as his lip trembled. He fought against it but he couldn't win. The feeling was like leaving his child behind, and even though the kitten seemed to have lost interest and found new curiosity in a tree, he felt like it was calling to him.

"How come I get attached to animals, but not my own race?"

Ichigo walked the rest of the way home looking over his shoulder and constantly stopping to make sure the kitten wouldn't go into the street. It went into the street once, looking to him with eyes that called to him.

"Get out of the street," Ichigo told him, the kitten staying there for a rebellious few seconds before darting back to the lawn. Ichigo lost sight of him after that. He walked into the apartment building and for once in a long while decided to take the stairs. It was a long four flight of stairs, but now he just really didn't want to go home. He didn't want to see Renji or even talk, he just wanted to go back to that kitten. The kitten that was dressed in a tux.

"I feel terrible." Ichigo jumped slightly at the sound of Renji's voice, unknowingly standing in their room. A fan was on, the sound slowly bringing Ichigo back from the whirlwind of his thoughts. He looked to Renji who was laying on the wooden floor, his blankets discarded. He was bare naked, Ichigo rolling his eyes. He put down the bag and helped Renji up, putting him in bed and pulling a blanket over his lower torso.

"Lay on the floor and you'll get a cold," Ichigo told him, gasping when Renji pulled him down by pulling on his thigh. His hands saved him from falling on him, placed on either side of Renji's head. Renji looked pale and sick, but he still managed to smirk.

"I feel sick doctor, can you help me feel better?" He was left with a bump on his head, Ichigo clearing his throat as he looked through the back for the aspirin he bought. He had bought a lot of lollipops and a few cans of beer on top of that, so he wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't find the aspirin. After a thorough search, it became apparent it just wasn't in there. Ichigo's sweat dropped.

He payed a ripped off price for that crap.

"I'm going to see if Shiro is home and ask him if he has any aspirin, it seems they didn't put it in the bag," Ichigo told Renji who sat up quickly at that. he cradled his head, Ichigo snorting.

Serves him right.

"Don't!" he growled, Ichigo raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked, thinking this jealousy thing was starting to get a tad annoying. Renji stood up, the blankets falling to the floor. He wrapped his hands around his waist, Ichigo leaning his back against his warm chest.

"I don't trust him," Renji whispered against his neck, Ichigo tilting his head to the side. Renji licked his flesh, Ichigo shivering.

"Renji…"

Renji kissed his neck, his hand slipping into his pants.

"You jealous idiot!" Renji was left with another bump on his head and Ichigo left to ask Shiro for aspirin.

He knocked on his door twice before ringing the bell, more for fun than anything else. The sun was just starting to go down but Ichigo was hoping he was here. If he remembered correctly he comes home around three, and if Ichigo was correct, he had probably already left for work. He crossed his fingers and hoped he hadn't.

The door was opened and Ichigo looked up from the ground to greet Shiro. His eyes stopped at the member he saw dangling between pale thighs. It was so beautiful and thick, Ichigo throbbing internally as the long member hardened just slightly in his presence. His lips parted and his heart stopped beating for just a second.

"Ichi-!" The door was slammed shut and he was pulled from his spell. Ichigo blinked. Blinked again. His cheeks grew red and his own member throbbed and so did his insides. He closed his eyes tight and shook his head, trying to forget what he just saw. He couldn't though, the member pricking his hole in his mind. It felt real though, Ichigo biting his lip as he tried to hold back his desire. His mouth was practically drooling now but he wiped it away, sighing heavily.

He had learned something today. Africans were built large, in more places than one.

He was snapped from his musing when the door was opened again, sweats hiding that perfect member from his eyes. His eyes turned up to Shiro's whose was a tad insecure. He scratched the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly, obviously embarrassed. Ichigo gave him a tight smile.

With that package, he had nothing to worry about.

"Sorry about that, I've been really sick since monday. I was so tired I forgot to put on some clothing," Shiro told him, Ichigo's tight smile dropping.

"You're sick, with what?" he asked, suddenly very worried. If he was sick, the last thing he wanted to do was take his medicine. It was like spelling out his death sentence. Shiro shrugged, laughing softly.

"It's nothing really. Just a stuffy nose and sore throat. My stomach is a little messed up too," Shiro told him, Ichigo nodding.

"Try putting more pillows beneath your head… er… you know so the mucus will go down instead of being stuck in your sinuses," Ichigo replied, not even sure what he was talking about, Shiro dropping his arm with a smile. He looked a tad tired and his nose was red, but he still looked as handsome as ever. Ichigo's cheeks became red.

Why was he thinking of him like that?

"Thanks, Ichigo. That would be a big help. But, um, what is it you came here for?" Ichigo didn't want to ask so just waved it off.

"I was going to ask for something, but it's alright. It seems you'll need it a lot more," Ichigo replied, Shiro frowning.

"Okay… I guess," he replied, Ichigo giving him a wide smile to clear the mood that had settled.

"Get better, alright?" he ordered, Shiro's smile returning.

"I will," he promised before closing the door. Ichigo's heart felt like it would explode along with his erection. He hurried back into his apartment, gave Renji a half hearted lie about him not being there and went straight to the bathroom. He pressed his back against the door, closing his eyes with his hand hovering over his zipper.

Should he really be masturbathing to another man? He didn't feel any guilt until he thought that, his hand dropping next to his side. He put his hands to his face, breathing in a deep sigh as he tried to clear his thoughts. He knew he was with Renji and he loved him, but was he really desperate for another man?

Was love and sex not enough for him? He didn't know what else he could get or give in their relationship, and a job proposal was hovering his head. He still had to tell him, so why should he be doing this?

His mind took a different path a second he was laying on the ground, his lubed fingers pressing into his hole. He gasped, spreading his legs slightly as he pushed deeper. He imagined Shiro above him, his gasp stretching into a long moan. He pushed his fingers deeper and almost cried when he brushed over his prostate. He was so hyped up it was unbelievable, Ichigo pressing his knees together. His hand was shaking as it pushed up his shirt, closing his eyes with a sigh when he pinched his nipple. Electricity ran down his spine and his member jumped. He bit his lip, holding back his cry.

He was panting on the floor, his pants discarded and his shirt pushed up to his neck, his fingers buried deep and his head in the clouds. He came with Shiro's face and cock in his mind, drool sliding down his cheek. He got up shakily, getting into the shower.

He had only knew Shiro a few weeks and already he was betraying Renji?

He felt it was to early, felt like a slut as he scrubbed himself till his skin was red. He curled into a ball on the tile floor, feeling like a monster. But, what he didn't know was that this small hiccup was nothing compared to the waves that he would summon soon.

I'm not a whore.

"S-Shiro…"

Sheets rustled, a white blob shifting above him.

"Ichigo… You feel so good."

Tan legs were spread wider, pale thighs snapping forward and a loud cry echoing in the motel room.

"You're mine."

**Author's note: Usually people just get play boys or watch porn. Ichigo doesn't understand what he feels, Renji doesn't trust Shiro, but what does Shiro feel?**


	4. Chapter 4: Games

Chapter 4

When he saw him, he was standing on the curb. He didn't seem to be affected by the chilly morning air, only wearing a wife beater and basketball shorts. Ichigo had just came back from the club, having decided to dance twice instead of once. It was pushing five in the morning and he was tired with a sudden day off. He was curious though as to why he wasn't.

Didn't he get off at three? Did he just decide he couldn't go to sleep or something?

Ichigo looked over to the door renji had left on his way to work, feeling a small sense of betrayal crawl up his spine. He knew seeing Shiro's cock was a mistake, he felt no guilt for seeing it. He felt guilt about the fact he got off thinking about it.

Despite his small pit of darkness, he got dressed in his old high school track uniform which surprisingly still fit and went outside. He was bone tired, but he wanted to talk to Shiro. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about his cock, seeing as he felt so insecure about him seeing it. He thought of what to say as he waited in the elevator, hoping that Shiro hadn't starting running again.

He felt he should get his phone number for things like this. At least then he wouldn't feel like he would be constantly left behind. He nodded his head and exited the elevator when the doors opened, rushing outside. A rush of relief ran over him when he saw he hadn't gotten far.

"Shiro!" The pale man stopped like he just witnessed the apocalypse coming his way, turning around with a look of confusion. Ichigo waved with a smile, thinking how he stopped like that was just too funny. Shiro waved back, still looking confused. Ichigo ran up to him, stopping next to him with a huffed laugh.

"Why did you stop like that? It was like you just saw Godzilla," Ichigo laughed, Shiro scratching the back of his head with a sheepish chuckle.

"Well, when I start running, I have a hard time stopping." That response had Ichigo's eyebrows disappearing into his hairline.

He wondered what else he would have a hard time stopping at.

Ichigo shook away the thought, giving Shiro a bright smile. Shiro smiled back, slightly panting through his nose. They broke into a light jog, Ichigo, even though he was not as fit as he was in his high school years, kept up nicely. He was proud of himself, he had been stuck to his desk at work for so long he had wanted to commit suicide. Dancing had been his only real exercise, but he knew it wouldn't be enough. Especially since all he did was strip in front of people.

"So, why are you up so early?" Shiro asked, Ichigo brung back to reality. He was surprised he hadn't run into a pole yet while distracted.

"I actually came back from my second job. I don't really have to get paid since it doesn't seem like work to me, but my boss insists," he told him, not knowing if he knew he was a Drag Queen or not. Shiro just nodded his head, picking up his pace just slightly.

"What's your first job?" he asked, Ichigo smirking when he sped up his pace again. He followed in suit, but he had a feeling Shiro didn't realize he was doing it.

"I'm actually the assistant manager at a pharmacy called Las Noches. I got a job offering to work at a hospital downtown though. What about you? What kind of work do you do?" Ichigo asked, already feeling like he was talking too much. Shiro didn't seem to mind though, his stride becoming a tad sloppy as he thought.

"I'm actually a manga artist. I think of and create the manga, have it checked by my editor who then sends it to some other people blah blah blah. It's really exciting though. I had actually submitted one of my manga to a company here and they loved it. I talk a lot don't I?" Ichigo chuckled, shaking his head.

"No, this is probably the most we talk last time I checked," Ichigo replied, sudden pain shooting up his thigh. He stopped with a grunt, putting a hand to his leg as he bent over, panting from the sudden pain and exhaustion. He grit his teeth. He should have stretched first but didn't in his rush. His coach's voice yelled in his ears.

"Kurosaki! What the fuck did I say about stretching first!? Do you wanna snap a bone in your bony ass legs and never run again!"

"Are you alright?" Ichigo was pulled from his memory, looking up to Shiro's worried face. He smiled, running a hand through his hair, which was surprisingly wet with sweat.

"I'm fine, just tore a muscle," he replied, Shiro frowning. Tearing a muscle wasn't a bad thing, it helped more muscle grow. But, it wasn't much of a good thing either since it hurt like hell. Shiro looked over his shoulder, a frown of contemplation on his lips. Ichigo had a feeling he was cutting into his routine running regimen if he had one and straightened up, waving a hand of dismissal.

"I'll just head back home and rest," he told him. Shiro looked to him, and if Ichigo didn't know any better, he thought he saw surprise and recognition run through his eyes. Shiro grabbed his wrist and started walking back to the apartment complex which was probably half a mile away.

"I have some cream that will help with the pain," Shiro told him before Ichigo could protest, the orange haired man gritting his teeth when his thigh screamed in pain. It wasn't a pain that would cripple him or pleasure him. It was just unwelcome and annoying.

"I'm pretty sure with a little rest I'll be fine," Ichigo tried to protest, pulling his arm lightly. Shiro didn't loosen his grip. Ichigo felt a sudden anger rise in him and he resisted the urge to pout.

Why was this happening to him of all people? He didn't need to be babied by a full grown man!

"Renji would-"

Without looking over his shoulder Shiro spoke. "Look I understand your boyfriend is a jealous man, but would you rather walk around limping everywhere like you just got fucked up the ass, or get some relief?" Ichigo blinked, the pain suddenly forgotten. He felt like, just for a second, that Shiro actually cared about him. His cheeks were painted a light shade of red and his groin stirred at the sudden show of concern. He almost squeaked at the sudden reaction as the heat in his shorts was attacked by the cold air outside. Then something unthinkable happened.

It began to rain.

"Shit!" Shiro hissed, turning to face Ichigo. Ichigo was confused at first, thinking they should be heading back quicker instead of stopping in the rain. His confusion was washed away with sudden surprise when Shiro grabbed his thigh, his other hand cushioning his back. He yelped when he was suddenly lifted bridal style, grasping the back of Shiro's shirt like a lifeline as his other arm went to his shoulder.

"Shiro I don't think this is necessary!" Ichigo gasped, looking up to his face. His breath was taken away. Shiro was looking down to him, his eyes darkened by wet hair that stuck to his face, his lips pulled down into a frown. To Ichigo, he had the body of an angel, but the look of a demon. His groin stirred once again and Ichigo's cheeks became hot with shock and nervousness.

"I understand you can walk, but it'll take more time. If I carry you it won't take as long and your boyfriend won't kill me if you get a cold," Shiro reasoned, Ichigo feeling like he should protest. They were getting more and more drenched though, so he tightened his fist in his shirt and nodded.

"Fine, but if my boyfriend see's you doing this, he'll kill you anyways," Ichigo replied as Shiro began to jog back to the complex.

"Then he's just a tad too jealous." Ichigo had to agree with that one since he had almost made him stop seeing his guy friends out of jealousy. Though Ichigo loved him, he wouldn't do something like that for anybody. His friends were friends for a reason, not just pawns he would throw away when his King grew tired of them. Love wasn't about control, and he taught Renji that the hard way.

"I know he is, but i'm hoping he'll learn to stop being so insecure about himself. Ever since we met, he felt like I was cheating on him with my friends. Tried to separate us but I punched him back into reality," Ichigo told him, suddenly feeling very tired.

"You're a strong one then, I hear of a lot of people who abandon friends and family for the one's they love. Though in my hindsight, I always wonder why those who try to seperate them are so jealous. Why would their partner wanna fuck their own siblings or parents?" Ichigo laughed at that, getting a few drops of water in his mouth. He swallowed before pressing closer to Shiro, greedily trying to steal his warmth.

"Incest does exist, but I guess your right. My leg doesn't hurt anymore so you can put me down." Shiro put him down once they got to the doors and Ichigo couldn't help but wince when pain electrocuted him. He tried to hide it though with his shirt, pulling the damp article of clothing up to his nose. He breathed in the smell of the rain and cloth, closing his eyes.

"If you drown yourself, ima leave you here and pretend I don't know you," Shiro joked as they entered the elevator, Ichigo letting his shirt fall back onto his chest with a wet slap. They were the only ones in there so he decided they could finish their earlier conversation.

"What type of manga do you write?" he asked curiously, wanting to also know if it got published yet. He was very interested in what he had made.

"I can't tell you the plot or anything, but it does include yaoi," Shiro told him, Ichigo's jaw dropping to the floor. He swore he heard his jaw pop, but ignored in from his sheer disbelief.

"Yaoi?" he asked, trying to see if he had heard that wrong. Shiro seemed to have gotten insecure again, so Ichigo tried to tune down his surprise.

"I mean… I have watched some of it, but I just never saw you as a yaoi type of guy," Ichigo replied, the tension in Shiro's shoulders relaxing. He smiled a tad sheepishly, Ichigo suddenly remembering something.

"Wait weren't you just sick?" he asked in shock, Shiro's eyes widening just slightly. He looked like a kid who was just caught red handed with stolen balloons.

"Well…" Ichigo fisted his hands and did something he only ever did to people he was close friends with. He slapped Shiro hard on the back of his head, putting his hands on his hips.

"Are you serious! You'll be even more sick and won't even get close to getting better! Are you stupid or something!?" All his sudden anger vanished when Shiro looked to him with a sudden look of wonder, shock, and anger. Ichigo put his hands to his lips and gasped. His eyes were wide saucers as he just thought over what he did.

"I-I am so sorry," he stammered, lowering his hands slowly. Shiro looked away, standing back up after almost falling to the floor. He slicked back his hair, chuckling softly.

"You got one hell of a slap," he chuckled, the doors opening with a ding. He walked out and Ichigo followed like a puppy.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that, you just got me a little worried there and that's the only way I know to react!" Ichigo tried to reason, Shiro stopping and looking to him with a raised eyebrow.

"So, instead of making that person feel better, you make them feel worse by hitting them?" he asked, obviously not seeing how that would fit into a normal life. Ichigo placed his hands back on his hips, frowning in obvious guilt and anger.

"It's what my father did whenever I was sick," he replied softly, Shiro's eyes losing the anger in understanding.

"Monkey see monkey do. What did your mother do?" Ichigo was confused by the monkey thing, but his confusion was replaced with sadness.

"She died when I was real young. I wasn't old enough to remember." Shiro's eyes became lidded, facing him.

"My father said though that she would sing to me." He laughed as he remembered the memory, sudden tears burning his eyes. He tried to blink them away but they wouldn't leave. The burning increased till his eyes were nearly flooded. Shiro reached a hand out to him, and at that moment Ichigo sneezed. Shiro seemed confused for a second before smiling. Ichigo wiped away the tears that escaped, feeling like shit suddenly.

"The landlord is gonna kill us for drenching his carpet." Shiro shook his head with a giggle and led Ichigo into his apartment, closing the door but not caring to lock it. He got Ichigo a dry pair of shorts and a shirt, letting him change in the bathroom as he got the cream from his room. Ichigo wanted to snoop in his medicine cabinet but refrained from doing so. He was about to open the door before curiosity got the best of him.

He opened the cabinet, seeing only one bottle of meds. He took it out, turning it around till he got to the label.

"Vicodin," he whispered, shrugging it off. He put it back and closed the mirror and went to his shower. He stopped midway.

What the fuck was he doing?

He exited the bathroom with wet clothes in hand, looking around for Shiro. He found him in the kitchen, jugging from a gallon of milk like a thirsty baby. Ichigo smirked, a sudden urge to touch him overwhelming him. He pushed it back and cleared his throat. Shiro lowered the gallon enough to see him before going back to drinking greedily.

"Explains why you're so pale," Ichigo joked, Shiro pulling the half empty gallon from his lips and smirking.

"Haha, the creams on the coffee table. You can take it home if you need to," Shiro offered, Ichigo nodding. He walked into the living room and picked up the small tube. His first thought was that it was lube, but he read the label aloud to tell himself it wasn't. He had gotten too excited all day today.

"Jack Black Dragon Ice…." Ichigo wasn't sure if he should laugh or put it down and walk away.

"I know, weird name, but it works miracles," Shiro replied, his voice right next to his ear. Ichigo jumped and looked over his shoulder since Shiro was too close for him to turn completely, covering his ear.

"Sorry, you were so absorbed into it I couldn't help but scare the shit out of you," Shiro chuckled, Ichigo's cheeks becoming a dark shade of red when he felt a hand on his ass.

"You didn't shit yourself did you?" Ichigo pushed him away, Shiro raising his hands.

"I'm sorry, that was pushing it," he apologized, Ichigo trying hard to put down the boner that had risen.

"W-Why did you do that?" Ichigo asked, unsure if he was more mad or aroused.

"You saw me naked which was rather embarrassing. Thought I should return the favor," Shiro replied, Ichigo gaping.

That wasn't even near to being his fault!

"Not to mention since your eyes seemed rather glued to my groin. That was actually more embarrassing than losing my underwear in a pool." Ichigo's jaw dislocated in disbelief.

He noticed that!? Ichigo grit his teeth, but it wasn't from anger. He was wondering how he should get him back for that.

"Can I ask you something?" Ichigo blinked at the sudden turn of paths, thrown off guard.

"S-Sure."

"I saw your tattoo's a few times and I swore they were familiar. Then as I thought back to it, I remembered a certain dancer had similar tattoos. The person was dressed in Drag, so I couldn't think of if it was you or not." Ichigo took in a sharp breath. He was surprised Shiro even remembered that much from that night. Not being insecure of it, he nodded.

"It was me, what you saw happened to be my second job," Ichigo chuckled the last part, interest and awe sparking in Shiro's eyes. Ichigo smiled, feeling a tad proud.

"God you had me hypnotized," Shiro laughed, Ichigo unable to hold back his sheepish chuckle.

"I'm not that good," he replied shyly, not used to being so praised up front. Most people could never identify him by tattoos alone. He looked to the clock, sudden exhaustion running through him.

"It's already 6:30?" he whispered, Shiro looking to the clock.

"It is huh?" Ichigo nodded, looking back to Shiro. He had that feeling to touch him again. He didn't know why it was there, but it wouldn't be forgotten and ignored. He smirked as he thought of a way to get him back for earlier. It was underhanded and dirty, but he wouldn't leave here without winning.

He fell to one knee with a yelp, holding his thigh tightly. Shiro was at his side within a second, helping him to the couch.

"What's wrong?" he asked, kneeling in front of Ichigo. Ichigo grit his teeth, lowering his head with a sob.

"My leg! It started to hurt like I broke my bone!" he gasped, Shiro's frown becoming gravely serious. Ichigo sobbed again, forcing forth tears. Shiro took the cream and lifted his shorts up to his groin.

"Where does it hurt?" he asked, Ichigo touching a finger to where his muscle was throbbing. It was deadly close to his groin, but Shiro was quick to unscrew the cap and pour some of the cream onto his palm, Ichigo resting his head back against the couch.

"It hurts," he sobbed as Shiro put his hands to his thigh, massaging the cream gently across his skin. Ichigo shivered, his thighs shaking visibly. Shiro worked just a tad harder, Ichigo sobbing again just for the hell of it. His hands were working miracles, relieving the pain and relaxing him to the point of sleep. But he was also deadly aroused, and since Shiro's eyes were probably concentrated near that area, he couldn't hide it even if he wanted too.

He wiped his tears away with shaking hands, sniffling hard. He pulled up his shorts just a tad higher, Shiro's hands faltering before rubbing there also. They stayed like that for a minute before Shiro suddenly stopped.

Ichigo looked to him, all tears gone. He tried to keep his pathetic dog eyes though, Shiro pulling his hands away. Ichigo gasped when he was suddenly on his back, Shiro looming above him. His hands went back to rubbing his thigh, ghosting over his pelvic area and making him shiver. His hand went higher and higher until it was centimeters from his full grown erection, Ichigo's cheeks dusted a dark red.

He gasped softly when his fingers rubbed over his sensitive inner thigh, Ichigo going to close his thighs from the ticklish pleasure. Shiro kept his thighs open though, Ichigo putting a hand around his wrist. They were playing in dangerous ground and Ichigo wasn't even sure if he was winning at the moment. Shiro leaned close, his lips brushing his. Ichigo moaned when he pulled him down by his thigh, his thighs spread wide. But, just when Ichigo thought they were reaching the point of no return, everything stopped.

"I win."

Author's note: Be very careful which games you play kids. If you lose, there is no going back. What if Renji figured out, what would happen to the Shiro and Ichigo?


	5. Chapter 5: Die For Me

**Chapter 5**

His hair had always been so soft.

Renji ran his fingers through Ichigo's hair, sighing deeply. Ichigo had fallen asleep facing him, half of his face pressed into the mattress. Renji didn't care though, running his thumb over his tan cheekbone. He loved Ichigo, he wanted for him to always be happy with him. But was his jealousy making him unhappy?

He didn't like Shiro. He didn't like him from the start because, though Renji wouldn't admit it, he felt like Shiro was his better half of him. He didn't know how to explain it, but for just a second, he felt like Shiro would be better for Ichigo then he could ever be. He was the darkness, and Shiro was the light. He had told Ichigo this, and he had just smiled, shook his head, and called him an idiot.

"There are thousands of people who are better than you. But it's not them I want, it's you." Renji leaned closer and kissed his lips, the words held close to his heart. But he couldn't shake the feeling. He didn't want Shiro to have him, he wanted him.

No. He needed him. Needed to see his smile, needed to hear him laugh, needed to touch him, and needed all his stupid bullshit that pissed him off. Renji wanted to be perfect for him, he didn't want to let him down. But that was the hardest for him. He didn't want to believe the truth, he wanted to believe that he was the best for Ichigo only.

Shiro… If he didn't exist, would he have such a hard time believing the truth?

"You're heart beat is quick, what's wrong?" Renji's eyes concentrated on Ichigo's face, his voice slurred and hoarse from sleep. He smiled, kissing his nose.

"Am I ever gonna be good enough?" He asked, Ichigo frowning. Renji took his bottom lip between his lips, waiting eagerly for his response.

"No. What you do is never good enough. But, it's just your kind of love. You make it tough for me to love you sometimes. But that makes me want to try harder," Ichigo whispered, Renji smiling despite the somewhat insult.

"Am I that difficult?" he asked, Ichigo smiling before nodding. Ichigo laid his hand on his chest, his smile stretching into a tired yawn.

"Your heart beat only got faster," Ichigo sighed, Renji sliding his hand beneath the blankets and grabbing Ichigo's thigh. He pulled it over his hip, moving closer.

"You're a stubborn shit and I hate you," Ichigo whispered on a deep exhale, Renji smirking. He kissed his nose, his hand sliding up to his ass. He slapped it hard, amused when Ichigo yelped from the sudden pain. Renji squeezed his ass, the usual muscle seeming to be covered with a thin layer of fat. He slapped it again, feeling it jiggle against his palm. It also brought an erotic yelp from Ichigo's lips, his hand grabbing his wrist.

"Stop that," Ichigo hissed, Renji doing it again, seeing how far he could run with it until Ichigo got serious.

"Ima smack you back if you keep doing that!" Ichigo yelled, Renji sitting up. Ichigo was confused for a second before he was forced onto his stomach, his hands fisting in the blankets from the sudden movement. Renji rose up to his knees, grabbing Ichigo's hips and lifting him up. He thought of fucking him in this position, but first he wanted to stretch his leash a tad farther.

Ichigo yelped when a hard slap was placed on his ass, his back arching up like a cat. He tried to struggle to get away but Renji had his balls held in his other hand, the tugging from his movements more painful than pleasurable. The slaps were merciless and relentless, Ichigo's ass cheeks red and bruising. Renji had every intent to beat his ass raw, his slaps landing with more force.

"Renji! Renji stop!" Ichigo hollered, hoping to god no one was around to hear his yelps and unmanly screams. Renji stopped as told, rubbing the sore flesh. Ichigo was shaking, the pain shocking him all over, his cock hard and weeping against the bed. He wouldn't admit it, but he liked when Renji did things like this too him. He wasn't into the real kinky shit, but he had his own strange tastes.

"Did you enjoy that like a good whore?" Renji asked, Ichigo gasping when he tightened his hold around his balls. He shook with a sudden chill, raising his head. He had torn the blankets but didn't remember when or remembering hearing it tear. He looked over his shoulder, tears in his eyes.

"R-Renji…" He didn't know what else to say, his brain fried to the point of incoherency. He shivered, the pain on his ass becoming a deep throb.

"Want me to kiss it better? Want me to lick your whore ass till you come all over the bed?" Ichigo was shaking all over as Renji spread his legs, his ass popping up nicely. Ichigo covered his eyes with his forearm, his tears wetting his skin.

Renji felt a surge of control with Ichigo like this, scooting back and sitting on his calves. He leaned forward and licked a forming bruise on Ichigo's left ass cheek, kissing it softly. He released his balls to knead the flesh around him, rubbing the bruise and feeling Ichigo shiver with a gasp. He smirked, leaned forward and licked the bruise in a small circle before sinking his teeth into his flesh. Ichigo's spine bent in and he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Renji laughed, Ichigo going to his knees since his ass hurt to much to sit down.

"Ima get you back for that!" Ichigo yelled, tackling Renji down. They fought for a few minutes, Renji trying to pin Ichigo beneath him but failing, Ichigo using all his strength to keep him down. Renji ran his fingers over his ribs, Ichigo snorting as he managed to cruise over a ticklish spot. That was all Renji needed to win, pinning Ichigo on his stomach beneath him.

"Fuck!" Ichigo gasped, Renji laughing breathily as he straddled thighs. This led for his cock to lay on the crease of Ichigo's ass, his precum dripping between.

"That was fucking cheating!" Ichigo roared, Renji chuckling before leaning down. He licked the shell of his ear before taking the lobe into his mouth, nibbling on it. He released it, a string of saliva breaking and falling onto Ichigo's neck. He seemed significantly calmer now, panting against the sheets with drowsy, aroused eyes.

"You never play fair," Ichigo huffed, Renji smirking as he placed kisses on his neck and shoulders.

"I know, I always play dirty to make sure I win," he chuckled, thrusting against his ass, the cheeks showing no resistance. They spread enough for his cock to slip through, the tip sinking just slightly into his hot hole. Ichigo grit his teeth, fisting his hands in the sheets as Renji prepared to take him dry. He pushed in just a tad farther, Ichigo crying out in pain.

"What's the matter? Can't my little whore swallow me down?" Renji husked against ear, Ichigo crying out as his cock pushed hard against his tight ring of muscles.

"Wanna see how far we can get in?" Renji asked, Ichigo shaking his head. It hurt a lot more than usual, his body unable to open like he wanted it too.

"No! Please not like this!" Ichigo gasped, Renji's smirk falling. He pulled out quickly and hugged Ichigo from behind, feeling like he had pushed the line. He remembered how Ichigo lost his virginity. At the thought, he felt worse than any rapist or murderer.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, Ichigo panting beneath him.

"It's alright, but just this time can we use lube?" Renji nodded, getting up to get it. He returned with lube in hand, Ichigo turning onto his back. His ass hurt this way, but this was the way he was able to accept his cock best. Renji got back on the bed, placing Ichigo's legs on his shoulders. Ichigo breathed in deeply, willing himself to relax. He closed his eyes when he heard the cap open, relaxing into the mattress.

"You know what I was thinking?" Renji asked as he spread the lube on his hands, Ichigo opening his eyes.

"What?" Ichigo asked, taking in a sharp breath when cold lubed fingers slid over the crease of his ass. He reached down, spreading his ass cheeks so Renji would be able to enter more easily. Renji took in a sharp breath, Ichigo smiling shyly when he looked to his eyes before to his hole. The mood had pretty much vanished, but as a finger slowly slid into him, Ichigo couldn't help but drool.

"I was thinking of inviting Shiro over for dinner, what do you think?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow, his red cheeks highlighting his brown eyes. He spread his ass cheeks wider, Renji rubbing his lubed thumb over the holes opening. He pushed in a second finger. Ichigo had a feeling he was gonna try to fist fuck him. He spread his legs a tad wider.

"You really want to talk about this now?" Ichigo asked, gasping when he curled his fingers and brushed over his prostate. The conversation was a tad off for him, but Renji was persistent.

"Yes. I know my jealousy makes you unhappy. So, what if I got to know him better?" Ichigo gasped, his hips leaving the bed as he rubbed his fingers against his prostate, pleasure zapping up his spine and down to his balls then up to his cock which dripped with precum. Ichigo writhed and moaned, his back leaving the bed as he arched up with a cry of bliss.

He was so close…

"R-Renji i'm gonna cum!" Ichigo gasped, his chest red with arousal.

"You're not answering my question." Renji stopped his treatment, Ichigo left a mess of heated puddy and nerves. He slammed his fist against the bed in anger, having been so close.

"Invite him over! I don't give a fuck! Just let me cum!" Ichigo roared, Renji frowning. He added a third finger but purposely avoided his sweet spot. Ichigo wanted to choke him.

"What do you want! I'll be your whore?!" Renji rolled his eyes, feeling a tad used at the moment.

"Would you even be supportive? It seems like right now you don't even care," Renji sighed, Ichigo sobbing now from the need to cum. He reached for his cock but Renji grabbed his wrist, pinning his hand to the bed. Ichigo tried to use his other hand but Renji managed to get that one too. Ichigo roared, shaking his head like a mad dog.

"You have your fingers up my ass! Sorry if i'm too busy trying to cum right now!" Renji sighed, adding a fourth. Now only his thumb wasn't enveloped in that hot, suffocating warmth. Ichigo choked on a gasp, drool sliding down his cheek and onto the bed. His eyes were shut tight, his bottom lip trembling from the pleasure. It was painful, but if Renji kept touching him like that, he felt like he was going to cum without being touched.

"Ichigo." Brown eyes opened sluggishly, Renji frowning down at him.

"Tell me, would you be happy if I learned to like Shiro?" Ichigo wasn't sure what happened, but his arousal drunken mind spoke for him.

"Yes, oh god yes. I want both of your dicks in my ass, fucking me so hard!" Renji's fingers stopped.

"You want him to fuck you?" Renji asked, anger rising up his gut. He frowned, forcing in his thumb. He pushed his hand in slowly, Ichigo crying out and screaming in ultimate pleasure. He managed to get one of his hands free, grabbing Renji's wrist and pushing his hand in farther.

"Yes! Stretch me so far then fuck me! F-Fuck me hard!" Renji didn't know what came over him, his anger taking control over his body. His hand released his wrist, instead wrapping around Ichigo's neck.

No one could touch Ichigo besides him!

His hand slowly tightened, his other hand sunken completely, gone in that vice grip of warmth. Ichigo's eyes snapped open, his lips parting as he fought for breath. Renji's eyes narrowed, Ichigo choking as he began to struggle. Renji unknowingly had his hand pressed against his prostate, so as he slowly pulled it out, it slid across that sensitive bundle of nerves.

"You're a fucken whore," Renji hissed, Ichigo's eyes rolling into the back of his head as he arched, his cock twitching before Renji's arm and his chest was covered in cum. The sudden splatter of warmth snapped Renji out of his anger induced daze, his hand releasing Ichigo's neck as his other slipped from inside him.

Ichigo was left panting ragidly, his eyes closed tight as he coughed. Renji could hardly believe what he had almost done. His lips were parted in shock, his cock hard between his legs. He had almost gotten off from attempting to kill Ichi. He felt like a monster, but he remembered why he was so angry. He grabbed his cock and pushed into Ichigo with little warning, his moan ending in a hoarse cough.

"I'll invite him over and fuck you in front of him!" Renji didn't let him adjust to the intrusion, thrusting hard enough to slowly move them up the bed. Ichigo clawed at his arms, his ankles linking behind his neck.

"I'll make him watch as I take you dry on the floor!" Renji roared, Ichigo gasping when he almost fell off the bed. He put his hands on the floor, hurting his shoulders in the unusual position. He pushed back against Renji's thrusts, gasping and moaning loudly. Renji grabbed his hips, pulling him back harder with a growl. He did it over and over again, seeming to go deeper with each thrust, growling low as he grinded hard against him.

"Just like that! Ah... so good!" Ichigo cried out, babbling something in broken mix of japanese and english. Renji grinded against him one more time before going back to his harsh thrusts, Ichigo's renewed erection wagging between them. Renji grabbed it, stroking it quick with his thrusts. Ichigo felt dizzy from the blood that was rushing to his head, his arms shaking as his second climax slammed into him like a train. He became limp, too weak to do anything else.

"You're my fucken whore!" Renji roared as he came, falling against Ichigo. His head was pressed against his stomach, his eyes building up with tears.

Was Ichigo lying to him when he told him he loved him? He felt Ichigo's finger's smooth down his hair, his long fingers combing through the red mess.

"I thought you were going to kill me," Ichigo panted, chuckling softly.

"It felt like for a second I was on fire. But you released me just when I thought I saw heaven," Ichigo chuckled, Renji rising up. He pulled out, pulling Ichigo to the center of the bed. He kissed him deeply, Ichigo pulling away with a gasp. Renji ran a hand through his orange hair, fisting his hand in a large chunk of it before pulling, exposing Ichigo's sweaty neck.

He ignored his gasp, sinking his teeth into his salty flesh before sucking it into his mouth. He kissed it a few times before sucking it harder, pulling away. A large hickie was left behind. Renji grinned darkly, Ichigo wrapping his arms around his neck with a small moan.

He was going to invite Shiro over for dinner. Than he was going to show him who Ichigo belonged too.

**Author's note: I think Renji just lost it. O_o Didn't know that was gonna happen.**


	6. Chapter 6: Begin!

**Chapter 6**

Ichigo stood at Shiro's door, the feeling of dread sliding down his spine. Renji was at work while he stayed home, having another day off. He didn't know if Shiro was home at this time, but he had to talk to him.

"I'll make him watch as I take you dry on the floor!" Ichigo shook away the memory with a sigh. He knew Renji was a good man, but just brushing those words off as the heat of the moment talk weren't passing through his alert system with flying colors. He raised his hand and knocked.

It was twelve in the afternoon, but Ichigo couldn't risk any harm to come to either of them. He would first confront Shiro then talk to Renji. As his boy friend, no best friend and lover, he wouldn't let him do something as stupid as hurt either of them.

Silence followed. Ichigo's sweat dropped. He looked around, feeling a tad out of place now. He reached into his pocket to call him, looking through his contacts. He sighed in irritation as he remembered he had forgot to ask for his number. After the near deadly game, he ran out faster than lightning strikes the ground. He was just about to walk away when he heard the lock turn with a click.

Ichigo's smile fell when he saw a rather sweaty Shiro. He felt he was invading his privacy, his cheeks becoming a light shade of red. Did his boyfriend come back?

"H-Hey," Ichigo stuttered, jealousy burning his chest. His eyes widened when he realized that. Why was he jealous when Shiro wasn't even his?

"I was just working out, sorry for the mess," Shiro panted softly, Ichigo feeling like his ears were violated from his words. It was a violation he wanted again though, a shiver running up his back.

"I-If you're busy, I'll just come back," Ichigo quickly said, turning to walk away. A hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"You can come in and sit down. I gotta take a quick shower if that's okay with you," Shiro whispered into his ear, deadly close again. Ichigo felt violated and stupid as Shiro led him into his apartment. Ichigo pressed himself up against the door, his downcast eyes looking up to Shiro. He was walking away though, heading towards his bathroom. Ichigo exhaled deeply, rubbing his ear with a growl.

He was here to discuss something important dammit! He wasn't here to dilly dally with him!

Ichigo nodded his head, his resolve put back up. He sat down on his couch stiffly, looking at his reflection on the TV. He looked small and dark, but it was still a rather good mirror. Ichigo got closer, fixing his hair, checked his teeth, fixed his outfit then sat back down. He snorted at his actions.

What was he, a flimsy female in love?

Ichigo took off his scarf when he began to sweat, the room surprisingly warm. He was about to take off his jacket when Shiro came out of the bathroom in a towel, another held in his hand as he wiped his hair dry.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Shiro sighed as he sat down on the couch next to Ichigo, leaning against the armrest. His eyes were focused on him and that only made Ichigo uncomfortable.

"W-Well…" Ichigo was finding it hard to find words right now, putting a hand to his face. Should he say that he was cautious because Renji said a threat while he fucked him into oblivion?

Shiro remained quiet, waiting for Ichigo to spit out whatever he had to say.

"Well, last night… God this is gonna sound wrong no matter how I say this," Ichigo muttered the last part, Shiro smirking just slightly. Unbeknownst to ichigo, he had been home last night. He heard everything rather clear since the walls weren't all that thick. But, he wanted to hear what he had to say about it. Shiro had just brushed it off as a heat of the moment thing, but it seemed Ichigo thought differently.

"Well, he said he wanted to do some things… to me. They were more to make you jealous than anything else, but I have a feeling he could do much worse. He is a very jealous man, and he thinks that me and you are having an affair because of something I said in the heat of the moment. I brushed off something he did, but until it heals I can't dance."

Shiro was confused as to what he meant, raising an eyebrow as Ichigo took off his jacket. His shirt had a high collar, concealing his neck.

"I don't think I can see or even talk to you until he has calmed down."

Shiro's eyes widened when Ichigo pulled down the collar. Bruises in the shape of long fingers decorated his neck, looking rather fresh and painful. Shiro narrowed his eyes as he touch a hand to one of the bruises.

"They look fresh," he stated, knowing they couldn't have happened last night. They would have turned a dark shade of purple, not still have a light shade of red to them.

"We were uh... fucking earlier when all of a sudden he got angry. I didn't pass out though."

Shiro was shocked. Ichigo had his eyes downcast like he was ashamed of this, his eyes glazing over slightly with tears.

"I know what he might do, so I know if I explain things in a certain way he'll listen. He just loses his head sometimes," Ichigo tried to explain, Shiro pursing his lips.

"Ichigo, I know you're smarter than that." Ichigo was. he knew he should leave now, but he had no place to go. He couldn't burden his family or friends with this. He trusted them more than Shiro, but he was the first person he came too. A tear fell down his cheek.

"After all these years, he had been doing so good," Ichigo whispered, Shiro frowning. He grabbed Ichigo's phone from his clenched hands, Ichigo gasping as he reached to take it back.

"I'm calling the police," he told him, Ichigo standing up and grabbing his hand.

"When he got out, I vowed to change him!" Shiro raised an eyebrow, sudden curiosity crashing with his anger.

"What do you mean by that?" Ichigo put a hand over his mouth, knowing he had spoke too much. It was their secret, he couldn't tell anyone. Shiro could see his reluctance and stood, pulling Ichigo into an embrace. He was shaking, and that only led for Shiro to want to learn more.

"Ichigo, Renji tried to kill you. I understand you love him, but we can't allow for shit like this to happen again. Even if it only happens when you fuck." Ichigo stopped shaking against him, his eyes searching his. He pulled away and turned away from him, running a hand through his hair.

"I lost my virginity to a high school sweetheart. He was the jock and I was the bad boy who got in trouble a lot. When we graduated, he took me on the floor saying he wanted to show me his love. He left the next day to go to college in America." Ichigo took in a sharp breath, remembering that blue haired devil.

"Renji was my best friend, a friend I had had since birth. He was constantly in jail for stealing and shit, a whole different level from what I was on. But, when he learned of what Grimmjow did, he showed me how love should be. He then went to America and killed Grimmjow for treating me like a one night stand whore. He went to jail for manslaughter for fifteen years but got out after ten for good behavior. He treated me like royalty, me having not hated him for what he had done. I had been scared, because he didn't love me like he used to. He started calling me a whore like it was a sick kink of his."

Shiro narrowed his eyes, remember hearing Renji yell something like that last night.

"He changed though. He stopped stealing, passed all his mental tests they had him take with flying colors. He went to therapy and came out a new man. But, last night and this morning, I saw the man he must have been all those years locked up. Sure, the sex was fucking amazing, but I couldn't help but feel he was trying to kill me each time. It's like he see's Grimmjow, but at the last moment, he snaps back and see's me."

Shiro frowned, touching Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo turned to him with pleading eyes, Shiro feeling at a loss.

"I understand that he seems to be losing himself in his jealousy, but please, please let me bring him back! I know I can do it!" Shiro's eyes widened at Ichigo's determined growl, his brown eyes narrowed and glowing with a deep plead. Shiro closed his eyes and shook his head.

He couldn't believe this guy!

"He's jealous of a relationship we don't have? And probably see's me as another Grimmjow im guessing?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding his head. It sounded more true than anything else.

"So what would happen if we convince him we don't have one by actually creating one?" Shiro suggested, Ichigo's cheeks going red. His eyes were confused though.

"Basically, he believes a lie. So how about, we make this lie a truth? He may see it as a lie!" Shiro suggested, his creative juices pumping. He had been having terrible writer's block, but what if he created this into his manga? He would be saving ichigo's life and ensuring his own.

Ichigo saw straight through it and sighed.

"At a time like this and you think about work?" Shiro frowned.

Would he say no?

Ichigo sighed, thinking it over. He guessed it was worth a shot. He put a finger to his mouth, grabbing his phone from Shiro. Shiro gasped but Ichigo silenced him with a finger. He dialed a number then turned on the TV. He searched till he got to a porn channel, a short female being fucked doggy style. Ichigo pressed call and waited a second. He put it on speaker.

"Renji, hey babe," Ichigo greeted, Shiro looking to him with confusion.

What the fuck was he doing?

"Who the fuck is that?" Renji asked, an obvious frown in his voice.

"I'm actually standing outside of Shiro's door. I was gonna ask him to come over for dinner, but it seems like he's already eating out." Ichigo chuckled at his own joke, Shiro rolling his eyes as Renji laughed too.

"Swings both ways?" Renji guessed, Ichigo snorting. He looked to Shiro who was standing by the couch in complete confusion.

"Listen, I understand you're jealous, but choking me earlier was off fucking limits. If I have to I'll call the police," Ichigo said with such an affirmance, Shiro could have mistaken him for his boss.

"I appreciate the fact that you fucked me into a stupor, but your acts are showing you don't love me anymore," Ichigo said like he was about to whip a slave. Renji gasped, the sound of him dropping something loud.

"Are you gonna be just like Grimmjow and hurt me after fucking all you want out of me?" Ichigo asked, sounding disappointed and a tad innocent. Shiro wasn't sure why, but the way his bottom lip popped out was the most erotic thing he had ever seen.

"No, I still love you baby!" he replied, Ichigo smirking. He motioned for Shiro to come closer.

"I don't understand why you are so jealous of Shiro. He doesn't even look like he could last a few seconds without popping. You on the other hand, you can fuck me for so long and so hard," Ichigo husked, Shiro raising an eyebrow.

He was going to prove him wrong quicker than he could count to three.

"I'm sorry baby, I just thought that because of what you said last night," Renji whispered, Ichigo laughing.

"That I wanted him to fuck me? I only said that because you were fist fucking me and I wanted more. You did it so good I wanted you to spread me wide and take me like an animal," Ichigo husked, grabbing Shiro's hand when he got close enough. Shiro was shocked when he pressed it against his groin. It was so hot it made him drool.

"Really?" Renji whimpered, Ichigo nodding his head to Shiro. He began to rub, pulling him a tad closer. Ichigo put a hand to his chest with a shake of his head.

"Yes, but if you want to show me you're not another Grimmjow, do you promise not to hurt me like you did this morning?" Ichigo asked, Renji moaning softly. Shiro felt like he was getting off from the memory and that made him sick.

"Yes, I promise to never hurt you again!" Renji gasped, Ichigo smirking.

"I told Urahara I just got hurt, so I won't be able to dance. But I want you too okay?" Ichigo asked, taking in a sharp breath when Shiro undid his pants. He gave him a small glare but Shiro ignored him, going down to his knees.

"Are you touching yourself?" Renji asked almost shyly, Ichigo chuckling beneath his breath. He hadn't expected for Shiro to go down on him, but he had no choice now.

"Yeah, I'll do it right in front of his door to show him I belong only to you," Ichigo lied, gasping when Shiro took him deep. He put a hand to the back of his head and thrusted into his mouth. His thighs shook when it just slid in and down his throat. He didn't have a gag reflex!

"I have to get back, but send me a pic of you touching yourself and your tight ass," Renji husked, Ichigo nodding. It went on more smoothly than he had ever expected it too. So whatever he did, Renji thought the opposite. That was rather helpful indeed. He closed his phone, ending the the call. He looked down to Shiro whose head bobbed on his cock, the loud slurping noises like an erotic heaven to his ears. He pulled him away though, Shiro looking up to him.

This game just took a whole different turn.

**Author's note: Renji's mind is a tad messed up, but what will happen now? Also, Ichi a bottom, but I think he has what it takes to top with that attitude.**


	7. Chapter 7: Forget

**Chapter 7**

Ichigo woke up to a warmth against his back. He sighed deeply through his nose, smiling softly when he felt a hand slide over his stomach. He opened his eyes, his vision blurry at first. He blinked a few times before looking over his shoulder.

"Shiro?" Ichigo rose up quickly, suddenly very confused. He looked to the clock, seeing it was midnight. He wiped his eyes, Shiro rising up and resting on his elbow.

"You sound confused," Shiro asked with slight amusement, Ichigo looking back to him with a glare. Memory slowly slid back though, Ichigo remembering that he had told Renji he would be going to a friends party and wouldn't be back till the next day. He sighed and leaned against the bed frame, wondering how he got past him with such a weak lie.

"Sorry," Ichigo whispered, Shiro rising up and sitting back on his calves. Ichigo glanced a look at his body, the blanket barely hiding his morning wood.

"Was this the smartest thing?" Ichigo asked, doubting himself and his actions. Shiro frowned, sighing before stretching with a loud yawn.

"You can back out if you want too. I won't make it an obligation that you stay," he told him, Ichigo biting his bottom lip. He sank in his teeth till it hurt, thinking everything over. Why did he begin this in the first place?

"I-I wanna see this through," Ichigo sighed, slapping himself for even agreeing to this. In the beginning, it was a pure adrenaline rush. Now though he was thinking clearly. But he couldn't risk Renji going to jail again. He didn't want to lose the one man who had always been there for him.

Shiro moved closer, Ichigo looking to him with calculating eyes.

"While you're here, forget about him," Shiro whispered, Ichigo frowning. He knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"If your gonna have a hard time doing that, I can find ways to distract you." Ichigo gasped when he pulled him onto his back, Ichigo's eyes going wide when Shiro went low. Ichigo grabbed his hair, looking down when he felt his tongue lap at his inner thigh. It tickled and he had to fight the urge to squirm, his eyes going wide when his legs were lifted and his cheeks were spread, a hot tongue lapping at his hole.

"W-Wait don't lick… ah there!" Ichigo shut his eyes tight as his tongue slithered in, the feeling foreign and because of where he licked, Ichigo found this treatment to be a tad disgusting. But he couldn't hide from the small spikes of pleasure it caused, his cheeks a deep shade of red as he gasped.

Shiro pulled away and licked his lips, smiling like the cat that got the milk.

"I'm guessing Renji didn't play with you like this?" Shiro asked, not minding too much the hand that seemed to be very close to tearing off all his hair. Ichigo opened his eyes to give him a glare.

"Ima gonna have fun showing you what you can do with this," Shiro chuckled, Ichigo gasping when he licked him again. Shiro rose up, smacking his ass with a laugh.

"You sound like a virgin," he chuckled, Ichigo's hand falling from his hair as Shiro slid his hands up his chest.

"I like that."

Ichigo wasn't sure if he wanted to bash his head in or shove his head down a toilet. He was trying hard not to make such little noises or act funny, but that was the first time anyone had ever payed that much attention to his ass. He knew that when a cock went it, it caused heaven. He didn't think though, that a tongue could go in there. His eyebrow twitched when Shiro leaned down and blew into his ear.

"Ahh, don't get so cold," he said, Ichigo wanting to slap off the smile he could hear in his voice. He gasped when a finger entered him, his hand going up to his chest. Shiro went back down, Ichigo gasping.

"Wait! No no no no!" He grabbed his hair again but it didn't stop his hot tongue from entering him again. Ichigo pressed the heel of his feet into his back, arching up when surprisingly his tongue lapped over his sweet spot. He cried out when he lapped at it, Shiro pulling away. He took in a gasping breath, kissing Ichigo's inner thigh.

"Do you wanna stop?" Ichigo's eyes snapped open. Shiro looked up with a grin, Ichigo's cock in his sight. It was hard and weeping from the red head, appearing needy and minutes from exploding. Ichigo swallowed thickly, letting his legs fall off Shiro's shoulders. Disappointment passed over Shiro's face and Ichigo closed his eyes. He slowly turned over to all fours, resting his head against the bed before reaching back and spreading himself wide.

He looked over his shoulder, seeing Shiro's shocked expression. He gulped hard, and in the most seductive voice he could muster he begged.

"Please, please fuck me," he husked, seeing Shiro's cock jerk slightly. He felt hot all of a sudden, sweat falling down his temple. It slipped down his face and touched the side of his lip.

"Fuck me till I forget about him."

That got Shiro moving. He got the lube from his drawer, slicking himself up. He dropped the lube on the bed as he moved closer, getting to his knees. He hadn't expected for Ichigo to actually let him fuck him this early. He understood he was still unsure about this, but with this opening he didn't hesitate.

"Take in a breath," Shiro whispered as he lined himself up, Ichigo doing so. When he exhaled Shiro pushed himself halfway in. Ichigo yelped, his hands digging into his flesh. He released it to fist the blankets, gasping for breath from the sudden intrusion. He gasped when Shiro began to slowly ease his way in, the change of pace making him ache.

"S-Shiro," he growled, his insides burning as with each push and pull he plunged deeper into his body. It felt so good but hurt so bad, Ichigo pressing back against his girth till he felt the prickle of hair against his ass.

He released the blankets after a tense second, looking over his shoulder. Shiro had his head tossed back, his hands spasming against his hips as he tried to stay still.

"So hot… Oh god so good," Shiro whispered, Ichigo smiling slyly.

"You wanna fuck me?" he asked in a low seductive voice, hearing Shiro whimper.

"Wanna just let go and fuck me hard, dontcha?" Ichigo husked, Shiro's fingers digging into his hips hard enough to bruise. Shiro leaned down, covering Ichigo from behind like a blanket. He spread his legs a tad wider to have a harder thrust, pulling out before sliding back in slowly. Ichigo rested his head against the mattress again, sighing softly.

"Im going to fuck you till you scream." Ichigo's eyes snapped open at those words, rising up to look over his shoulder. Shiro pinned him down by his wrists, Ichigo gasping when he thrust hard into him. He panted like a dog in his ear as he thrust over and over again, Ichigo gritting his teeth as the sweetest pain shot up his spine and zapped down to his groin and made his cock weep.

Shiro released one of his wrists, reaching for Ichigo's lips. He parted his teeth with his thumb, Ichigo trying hard not to bite down on it as he moaned when his saliva covered his finger and slid down his chin.

"I wanna hear you, moan for me Ichigo," Shiro panted into his ear, Ichigo arching up against him when his saliva covered fingers pinched his nipple. He rolled the small bundle of nerves between his fingers, his hot breath washing over his neck as he licked his flesh.

It was too intimate. Ichigo gasped as he slowed his thrusts to grind against him, his eyes shut tight as his tears and sweat wet the sheets. Even though he was facing away from him, he was drowning in him. He couldn't move without feeling him, couldn't look anywhere without seeing him, couldn't breathe without smelling him. He was drowning in him, gasping for breath at a surface that was slowly filling with water.

He felt nimble fingers wrap around his cock, Ichigo rising up slightly as sensitivity ran up his spine. He wasn't sure what he was trying to do, pushing against him even though he wanted to escape. Ichigo gasped when Shiro rose up to his knees, bringing him with him. This led to a whole different entry, Ichigo reaching behind him to grab a handful of his hair, his head turned to the side as he groaned his pleasure.

Shiro pulled him closer, running his tongue over his neck. He wanted to bite down, but knew that wouldn't be the smartest idea. He opted to cum inside of him instead, unsure if Ichigo would appreciate it or not. He was getting closer and closer, stroking Ichigo with each thrust, stopping to grind deep inside of him. Ichigo stilled suddenly, his lips parted in a silent scream as his eyes stared off into space. His cock pulsed and jerked before he came, Shiro gritting his teeth as he squeezed him so tight he couldn't move.

The pressure became a slow milking and Shiro was unable to resist. He came with a groan, his vision flashing white. They both fell onto the stained sheets, panting like they just ran a marathon.

"I'm sorry," shiro apologized, rubbing Ichigo's stomach like it would have gotten bigger from the cum that filled him. He pulled out when Ichigo didn't respond, turning him over onto his back. He yelped when he was suddenly pushed away and onto his back, feeling smooth thighs encase his waist. His cum leaked onto his torso. Shiro feared he had pissed him off, but when he looked at his face it wasn't angry.

He seemed to be lost in a daze, his cheeks still red with his waning arousal. Shiro wanted to say something but remained silent.

"Again." Shiro's eyes widened and he wasn't even sure he had heard him correctly. For Ichigo though, he wasn't sure what had happened. He had not only forgot Renji, but for a split second he also forgot who he was. He had been so lost that he felt lethargic. He wanted that feeling again. he wanted to forget.

"Fuck me. Fuck me again till I forget."

XXX

Renji sat up when the front door opened. He rushed to the door, Ichigo's eyes going wide.

"How long have you been home?" Ichigo asked, Renji holding back an unmanly giggle as he grabbed his hand.

"I have a surprise for you," Renji replied, Ichigo raising an eyebrow. Renji put his hands over his eyes, stepping behind him.

"Why the surprise?" Ichigo asked, listening to see if a bunch of people were there. He didn't like surprises one bit, but he didn't want to put down Renji's excited mood. He was walked through the apartment before a strong scent hit his nose. He couldn't place it but it made his mouth water, his stomach growling. Renji laughed, uncovering his eyes.

"Tada!" Ichigo's eyes widened. All his favorite foods were placed on the table, Ichigo looking to Renji before back to the feast. He wondered if he had called Yuzu.

"You made this?" Ichigo asked, Renji nodding with a proud grin. Ichigo had never seen Renji cook a day in his life. He walked over to the table, looking to hot spicy noodles mixed with rice with a hungered scowl. His stomach growled again.

"Do you like it?" Renji asked as he came up behind him, hugging him tightly. Ichigo was glad he took a shower before coming back because he would have smelt Shiro all over him.

"Yes, but i've never seen you cook a day in your life so this is quite surprising," Ichigo replied, Renji chuckling sheepishly.

"I called Yuzu and she guided me through. Messed up a dozen times so the alley cats will have enough to eat for weeks," Renji chuckled, releasing him. He walked over to the table, pulling out a seat. He motioned for Ichigo to come over and sit.

Ichigo was unsure, walking over slowly. This small thing touched his heart more than he wanted to admit, taking off his scarf and placing it on the back of the chair. He sat down slowly, Renji scooting him in. Ichigo gave him a small smile as he sat down across from him. Ichigo got a bowl of rice and spicy noodles, his eyes looking away from Renji's happy face to his food.

What he did earlier… Was that all just a mistake?

**Author's note: Renji wants forgiveness, and Ichigo seems to think he deserves it. But how long will it last? **


	8. Chapter 8: Caught In a Lie

**Chapter 8**

The house was quiet, the low ring of Ichigo's cellphone disturbing that silent peace. Long fingers grasped the phone, flipped open and put to his ear.

"Hello?" Ichigo greeted with a tired voice hoarse from sleep.

"Ichigo! It's been so long!" His father's cheerful voice responded on the other line, Ichigo grunting. He opened one eye and glanced to the clock.

"Dad it's only six at night, why are you calling me?" Ichigo muttered, Renji shifting next to him. His hand fell over his hip, his breath warm against the back of his neck.

"What does he want?" Renji asked sleepily, Ichigo giving him a kiss over his shoulder.

"I want you two love birds to come over to a family dinner! We are starting it a little late, around eight, but I want you to come over regardless," Isshin informed, Ichigo raising an eyebrow.

"Say no," Renji groaned, Ichigo thinking it over.

"Man, if you don't Yuzu is gonna be so mad. She wanted to introduce to her boy friend too," Isshin sighed, Ichigo's eyes snapping open.

"What boy friend?" he asked, wide awake now. Isshin was about to respond but Ichigo cut him off.

"You know what, don't tell me. Ima come over there and beat his ass!" Ichigo growled before closing his phone. He sat up, Renji groaning in obvious distress.

"Ichigo god not tonight," he groaned, Ichigo already heading to the bathroom. Renji fell against the sheets, kicking his feet angrily before getting up. He would have to go over there to make sure Ichigo didn't actually kill the guy.

"When did she start dating? She's only sixteen for fucks sake!" Ichigo hollered from the bathroom, Renji pushing the door open and leaning against the frame. Ichigo was stripping down to hop into the shower, Renji shaking his head.

"Ichigo don't start that, you lost your virginity at sixteen," Renji pointed out, Ichigo sending him a glare over his shoulder. Renji raised his hands in mock defense.

"Just saying." Ichigo rolled his eyes and pulled back the curtain. He pulled out the knob, water pouring from the bottom faucet.

"She is a female Renji, she could get pregnant," Ichigo pointed out, Renji rolling his eyes.

"Yuzu is not that naive," Renji told him, Ichigo sitting on the edge of the tub as he waited for the water to heat up.

"It doesn't matter, she could still get pregnant because that asshole of a boy is that fucken eager," Ichigo growled, Renji laughing at that. He walked over to him, patting his head.

"I am pretty sure he is not eager to become a daddy," he replied, Ichigo punching his stomach. Renji just laughed it off, leaning down and kissing his forehead. Ichigo seemed to relax from that so Renji continued. He kissed between his eyes then his nose, smiling as he kissed his lips. He pressed against him harder, wanting to open his pouty lips.

"Stop thinking of the dumbest shit," Renji ordered as he pulled away, Ichigo sighing softly against his face.

"Easy for you to say, you don't have a little sister." Renji smiled, but it slowly fell when he looked down to his neck. He ran a finger over the healing bruises, Ichigo's eyes staring at him calmly.

"I wonder why I would try to do something like this to you," Renji whispered, Ichigo looking away. He had just wanted to forget about it.

"Do you hate me for this?" Renji asked, Ichigo shaking his head. He felt his heart tighten up inside. He wasn't angry at him, but what Ichigo was doing didn't actually show that he had moved on.

"Can I be honest with you?" Ichigo asked softly, Renji looking away from his neck and to his eyes.

"Yeah?" he replied a tad unsure, Ichigo swallowing thickly.

Should he tell him what he had done?

"I-I…" Ichigo couldn't say it though. He felt tears burn his eyes, Renji's scared frown becoming worried.

"Ichigo what happened?" Renji asked, Ichigo closing his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Renji's neck and pulling him closer, sniffling as tears fell down his cheeks.

What type of monster was he?

"I had almost called the police," Ichigo told him on a shaky exhale, Renji stilling against him.

"Bu-But I couldn't do it. I didn't want to lose you," Ichigo sobbed. He felt Renji's arms encircle him, holding him tight.

"I swear on your mother's grave I won't ever, ever hurt you again," Renji whispered against his shoulder, those words only tearing Ichigo's heart that much more. He pulled away, Ichigo taking in a shaky breath.

"Make love to me," Ichigo sobbed, Renji touching his cheek, wiping away a tear. That's exactly what he did. He turned on the shower, stepped in and made love to Ichigo. It was hot and slow, Renji making Ichigo feel every part of him, making him only see, smell, and want only him. He made love to him till he couldn't stand, Renji having to hold him up as he took him over and over again.

Ichigo felt lost then. But he knew he had to tell Shiro the deal was off. His Renji was back, and that was all he needed.

XXX

"I can not imagine you as a girl." Ichigo laughed, Karin shaking her head as she dealt the cards. They were going to play bullshit, and though Ichigo had never won against his family, he was slightly buzzed. He felt he could win regardless, and was determined to prove that true.

"Renji said the same thing," Ichigo laughed, looking over his shoulder. He was sitting at Renji's face with his back facing him, his eyes trained on the TV. His fingers were playing with his hair distractedly, the anime he was watching obviously more entertaining to him than cards.

They were both more relaxed since Yuzu's surprise boyfriend turned out to be a hoax.

"But, I pull it off pretty nicely," Ichigo included, Karin raising an eyebrow as she finished dealing.

"Ever dressed up for him?" she asked, Isshin bellowing something from the kitchen. Ichigo snickered, not answering her question as he started off their game.

"Three kings," he said as he put down the cards face down. Karin didn't question him, looking through her cards.

"One ace," she said, putting down her card. At that moment, Ichigo's phone went off. Ichigo frowned, standing up and taking out his phone. He frowned when he saw Shiro's number, walking away and leaving his cards. Renji watched him until he disappeared up the stairs.

"Hello?" he greeted, unsure if he should hang up in his face or not.

"Hey, just wanted to call to see if you wanted to continue the arrangement," Shiro asked, Ichigo looking over his shoulder. When he didn't see anybody he headed upstairs, heading for his old room. It was Yuzu's art room now, but he didn't care.

"I'm not so sure anymore," Ichigo sighed after he closed the door, Shiro was quiet for a second.

"Why not?" he asked, not sounding mad, wanting to know more out of curiosity than anything else. Ichigo swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair.

"I know it's too early to say, but I have a feeling Renji is coming back to me," Ichigo muttered, looking over the paintings in Yuzu's room. They were mostly of food and family, but there was one of a butterfly stuck in a web. It looked so real Ichigo had an urge to touch it.

"I understand. So-"

Ichigo looked over his shoulder when the door was opened, his eyes widening when he saw Renji standing at the entrance.

"Who are you talking too?" he asked, Ichigo's tongue already wrapping around a lie. Renji didn't let him say it though, walking over and taking the phone from him.

"Who is this?" he asked, Ichigo fiddling with his fingers.

"It's Shiro," Ichigo heard him reply, his eyes looking over Renji's facial features. They had become grim.

"Me and Ichigo were just talking about-"

"There's no need to tell me, I already got a feeling of what you were talking about," Renji replied darkly, Ichigo taking a step back.

"Renji, calm down," Shiro told him, Renji closing his phone. Ichigo felt weak when he looked to him, but he wouldn't let himself be intimidated.

"Were you cheating on me with him?" Renji asked lowly, Ichigo shaking his head. His gut twisted and he felt sick.

"No. After you choked me, I had told him about it. He told me that if you did it again he would call the police and I would be able to live with him," Ichigo told him, Renji narrowing his eyes.

"You barely know him, but you would be willing to do that?" Renji hissed, Ichigo standing a tad taller as he gathered his confidence.

"He already has a boyfriend, and lacks any interest in me. My room is obviously not mine anymore, so he would have to be an option," Ichigo told him, Renji taking a step towards him.

"I made love to you Ichigo! I had thought you had forgiven me!" Renji yelled, Ichigo pushing him back.

"I did! I had told him I wanted to call it off! But no, you are so god damned quick to accuse me of shit!" Ichigo yelled back, so in character with his lie that he almost felt it was the truth. Renji's expression shifted so quickly that Ichigo thought he would slap him.

"I-I'm sorry." Ichigo gasped when he suddenly hugged him, his body recoiling slightly from surprise. He slowly lifted his arms, wrapping them around his neck.

"I had thought you were having an affair," Renji sighed, pulling Ichigo closer. Ichigo took in a sharp breath when Renji fisted a hand in his hair, his eyes staring off into space as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart.

"I knew you had forgiven me, but I was just so scared you were lying. I am so afraid that you'll love Shiro more than me," Renji whispered against his neck, breathing in his scent.

"But you wouldn't, would you?" Renji asked, silent tears falling down Ichigo's cheeks.

"No," Ichigo whispered, closing his eyes tight as Renji held him tighter. Renji slowly went down to his knees, taking Ichigo with him. Ichigo looked into his eyes as he gently pushed him onto his back, his teeth clenching together when Renji rubbed his face against his cheek.

"Do you love me?" Renji whispered, Ichigo nodding his head. Renji kissed his lips, undoing his belt.

"Tell me you love me, I wanna hear it," Renji whispered so innocently against his lips, Ichigo looking into his eyes.

"I love you." Renji was about to pull down his jeans when the door opened, moving lower so he could hide Ichigo from sight before looking over his shoulder to see who it was.

"Whoa! Not in my house!" Isshin yelled before slamming the door closed, Renji sighing. He looked back to Ichigo, wiping away his tears.

"Let's finish this at home?" Renji asked, Ichigo remaining silent. Ichigo grabbed a handful of Renji's hair, pulling him down and kissing him deeply. He tilted his head to the side, slipping his tongue inside his mouth. He kissed him till his lungs felt like exploding, kissing away all his guilt and pain. He pulled away and gasped for air, placing small kisses all over his face.

"I love you," Ichigo husked against his lips, Renji grinning. Renji got up, helping Ichigo to his feet. Ichigo zipped up his pants and fixed his belt, his father opening the door again.

"Thank god, you two come down stairs. The food is ready and we are tired of waiting for you."

Ichigo smiled, but he felt something dark inside of him.

Since he started this, could he really just end it with Shiro after having a taste of what he could give?**  
**

**Author's note: I'm not even sure if Renji has truly changed or not. Plus, Ichigo seems to only want to add more fuel to the fire.**


	9. Chapter 9: Manga

**Chapter 9**

**Author's note: My muse is going crazy and writing is becoming easier. Thank god, just hope it lasts.**

That night when they got home, Ichigo was left alone as Renji went to the club. He wouldn't dance till the bruises cleared up fully, so he was rather alone now. He felt he should check up with Shiro, seeing as he might be thinking Renji had hurt him. Ichigo waited ten minutes after Renji left before going over to Shiro's. He didn't know if he would be home, but when he heard the lock click open he felt a tad relieved.

Shiro opened the door and pulled him inside, looking all over. Ichigo pushed him away, Shiro seeming just a tad less jittery.

"He didn't hurt you?" he asked, Ichigo shaking his head.

"Thought he would see straight through me though. I was scared but he believed what I told him," Ichigo replied, Shiro raising an eyebrow.

"What did you tell him?" Shiro asked, Ichigo sighing. He took off his scarf, laying it on the couch.

"I told him that you had agreed to take me in if he hurt me again. At first he seemed pissed off, but I have a feeling it was more at himsel-" Ichigo gasped when he was suddenly turned around and rough lips claimed his. He could do nothing but stand still at first, his eyes fluttering closed as hands reached up and pressed against his neck, holding him in place.

Shiro pulled away slowly, licking his lips. Ichigo shivered when his tongue ran over his bottom lip.

"I'm so sorry, I just wanted to get a taste before we end it," Shiro panted against his lips, Ichigo nodding in understanding. He leaned in, pressing his lips against his. He pulled away just as quickly though, putting his hand to Shiro's chest.

"We shouldn't have started this from the beginning," Ichigo whispered, looking up when Shiro pulled him close.

"Wanna know what I figured out today?" Shiro asked, walking them backwards to the couch. Ichigo hummed, sitting in his lap and straddling his thighs.

"My boyfriend was turned straight," Shiro chuckled, Ichigo leaning back with a frown. He noticed the position he unconsciously took but Shiro tightened his hands around his waist, keeping him there.

"Some girls are just that good," Ichigo replied, Shiro pulling him closer.

"I should leave," Ichigo said with a clear of his throat, Shiro resting his head against the couch.

"You love him that much?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding with a frown. He saw something in his peerview vision and squirmed from his grasp, walking over to the kitchen table.

He was surprised to see what looked like to be a manga in the making, Ichigo picking up a piece of paper. It had red circles in some spots where it could be improved, but Ichigo didn't see what could have been improved. He looked over the pictures, his cheeks going red when he saw one of the character's seemed to be crying out in ecstasy.

"It's not ready," Shiro grunted, grabbing the paper but not pulling. Ichigo smirked.

Smart.

"I know, but it's your fault for leaving it out. Were you working on it before I came here?" Ichigo asked, Shiro nodding. He blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his head.

"It's still rather raw and I gotta improve some shit. My editor loves it, but he wants me to not put so much detail into the way they fuck. "Face expressions are what sell, not dicks;" he told me," Shiro laughed, Ichigo smiling wide. He picked up another paper, looking it over. It looked to be from the very beginning, the two sitting down as a man bandaged the other's knee. Ichigo raised a brow.

"I hurt my thigh," he pointed out, Shiro looking to him like he was surprised he actually remembered that.

"Just pointing that out," Ichigo said quickly, picking up another piece of paper. The book was just beginning, and though Ichigo read it in the wrong order he loved it.

"What's gonna happen next?" Ichigo asked, Shiro shrugging his shoulders.

"Since we ending it, I'll have to go to my office and ask one of my helpers. They were the one's who told me to go for the knee and not the thigh," Shiro told him, stretching with a yawn.

"It would have been sweet to see how it would have panned out," Shiro sighed, walking out the kitchen. Ichigo frowned, looking down to the manga. He put down the papers, walking to the printer Shiro stood at.

"What do you think would have happened next?" he asked him, Shiro swishing his mouth in thought. He was quiet for a second, the printer coming to life.

"Makito, basically you, would have tried to stick to just ending it. He doesn't though and he and Souta, me, would start an official affair. That's as far as I could think," Shiro replied distracted, looking over some faxes. He frowned, walking back to the kitchen.

"Makito?" Ichigo asked, not sure if he really liked that name.

"It was either that or Taeko. We put a bunch of names in a hat and picked two. Made it easier," Shiro replied as he looked through his papers, finding a page of his manga. He looked back to the fax, frowning in concentration. He picked up a red pen and circled something. Ichigo just watched, completely mesmerized.

His forearms flexed as he gripped the pen, Ichigo tilting his head to the side. To Ichigo, he always seemed like a slacker. But watching him work was like watching a professional track athlete run. There had to be no mistake and everything had to perfect, the pen circling something else. Ichigo sat down in a chair Shiro was leaning over, bumping his head against his chest. Shiro touched his chin to his head but kept on working.

"How long do you work on this?" Ichigo asked, Shiro scrunching his nose like he just ate something sour.

"Most of the day. I clean it up and send it to my assistants. They fix it up, ink it up, color blah blah blah," Shiro replied, his jaw rhythmically bumping against Ichigo's head. Ichigo smiled, sighing deeply.

"I already sent most of this to them, but i'm running a tad behind. I'll have to work twice as much, so if you got any idea's, speak up," Shiro told him, walking away and getting more paper. Ichigo got up and let him sit down, Shiro going straight to work. Ichigo stayed with him for three hours, just watching him. He got three pages done, sighing softly.

"Can you read over them for me?" Shiro asked, walking over to the counter after Ichigo took the papers with gentle care. He put some coffee in the coffee machine.

"I stay here on the weekends after getting as much ideas as possible while they finish up the papers I left with them. I go back with new papers and I stay there from the morning to next morning. I lost time when I got sick," Shiro sighed, leaning against the counter. Ichigo was halfway paying attention, looking over the drawings.

The intimate scenes were giving him goosebumps and he felt his cheeks get warm. But he could see what his editor was talking about. He walked over to Shiro, pointing out his mistake.

"It is really good, but focus more on Makito's face. I don't know like…." Ichigo thought hard as Shiro prepared his coffee.

"When you fucked me, you didn't concentrate on much besides my face right? You were watching to make sure you were doing it good right?" Ichigo asked, Shiro shrugging.

"I guess," he replied, Ichigo snapping his fingers. He walked over to him, and for most of the night and that morning they worked on improving his drawings. They got all three and were starting a fifth when his phone rang. Ichigo picked it up and replied distractedly.

"Where the fuck are you?" Ichigo's heart dropped at Renji's angered voice, looking over to Shiro. He just shrugged.

"I'm at Shiro's. I'm helping him with his manga," Ichigo replied truthfully, Renji cursing beneath his breath.

"So now what? You two are best buddies now?" Renji asked angrily, Ichigo frowning. He rolled his eyes, Shiro snickering.

"Renji don't start," Ichigo sighed. "Come to the door, i'll open it," Ichigo ordered before hanging up. It only took two minutes before his doorbell was being rung like an alarm. Ichigo answered, Renji storming in.

"Where is he?" Renji growled, Ichigo raising a hand to stop him. Renji pushed past him though, storming into the kitchen. Ichigo hurried in, gasping when he saw Renji had Shiro held by the collar of his shirt. Ichigo pushed him away, narrowing his eyes when Renji raised his fist.

"Try asshole," he growled, Renji panting like a bull through his nose as he looked from him to Shiro. He looked to the table and saw the papers, lowering his fist. His facial expression became blank.

"Sorry," he said softly, Ichigo lowering his hand. Shiro relaxed behind him. Renji's eyes darted to him, but he made no move to hurt him. Instead he slicked back his hair, cleared his throat and turned away and left. Ichigo gave Shiro a sympathetic smile and followed after him.

"I thought you would stop this," Ichigo hissed at him as they left his apartment, Renji not even caring to turn to him as he spoke.

"Ichigo, I appreciate the fact that you're not having an affair, but why the fuck would you go over to his place after I told you I don't like him?" Renji asked, the elevator opening once they got there. They both got it as an elderly lady walked out, Ichigo pressing against the right wall as Renji stood stiffly at the doors. Renji ignored him the entire time they were in there, only adding fire to Ichigo's anger. They exited and Renji walked quickly into the garage, Ichigo seething behind him.

"Why the fuck don't you like him?" Ichigo finally hollered, Renji turning to him with narrowed eyes. He stepped close to him, Ichigo fighting the urge to cover his nose when his whiskey breath suffocated him.

"I hate him because you like him," Renji yelled back, Ichigo grunting when he pushed him.

"I don't! You're just drunk and thinking up random shit!" Ichigo growled, wanting to slap him so bad but holding back. He wouldn't lower himself to his standards.

"I've been thinking that since he met us at the club. I saw him touch you when you were dancing that night and I saw you shiver. I fucked you enough times to notice shit like that," Renji growled, walking to his car. Ichigo followed after him, grabbing his arm. Renji pulled it free, pointing a finger at Ichigo with a scowl.

"I've read his manga before. I saw the manga on that table. He was making it off from you. You fucked him and he put it in that fucken manga for me to see!" Renji roared, Ichigo taking a step back, his heart skipping a beat.

How had he found out?

"You're drunk," Ichigo whispered, Renji throwing his hands up in the air.

"And? Does that make that even less a lie?" he hollered, Ichigo feeling like he had been slapped in the face. He watched as Renji got in the car, seeing his face as he rolled down the window.

"By the way, I fucked Rukia on our anniversary," Renji spat, Ichigo's heart breaking into pieces. He backed up, Ichigo moving out the way as he sped off. He was about to run, but soon everything was going in slow motion.

Renji exited the garage, the light red. An eighteen wheeler smashed into him, Ichigo's heart dropping as the car tore in two pieces, going into flames. Sound bled back painfully slow, Ichigo walking towards the burning car. His walk became a jog, his jog became a run and then he was sprinting, the truck driver getting out with a hand to his head. His eyes were wide, his other hand shaky and bleeding.

"Renji!" Ichigo screamed, the heat of the flames burning him. He tried to open the driver's door but it wouldn't budge, sunken in from the impact. Ichigo smashed his elbow against the glass, seeing the gasoline that had began to leak. The glass broke and he reached in, fire licking his shirt.

"Renji wake up!" he screamed, glad he didn't buckle up as he dragged him out the car. His legs hit the cement with a sickening thud, Ichigo sobbing as he pulled him away from the flaming car. The second part erupted, Ichigo dropping to the ground when flames flew over his head. He rose up, seeing Renji' legs had caught on fire.

"Help!" Ichigo screamed, taking off his shirt and patting down Renji's legs, putting out the fire.

"Get out of there!" a man screamed, the gasoline leak slowing moving towards them. Ichigo picked up Renji by his armpits, dragging him away as quick as he could. He just got past the end of the truck when the front part of the car exploded. The shockwave made the truck move back slightly, Ichigo falling to the ground and covering Renji with his body. He felt fire prickle his back but it was quickly put out by somebody, Ichigo shaking from pain and shock as he was lifted up.

"Call an ambulance!" Ichigo hollered, nodding to the truck driver who had came to his rescue. He put his ear to Renji's chest, not hearing a heartbeat.

"Fuck don't die on me!" Ichigo screamed, quickly administering CPR. He could faintly tell he was near hyperventilating, his hands stained with blood when he lifted them from Renji's head. He could faintly hear an ambulance in the distance, Ichigo sobbing into Renji's mouth. The truck driver pulled him away and began where he left off, Ichigo going to his knees.

"Renji!" he yelled, another person grabbing his arms. They were trying to pull him away and Ichigo struggled, pulled to his feet and into a tight embrace.

"Shh shh," he heard Shiro whisper into his ear, Ichigo going limp against him as he fisted his shirt, sobbing against his chest.

"He's breathing!" the truck driver yelled, Ichigo pulling away from Shiro, rushing to his knees next to Renji. His eyes were barely open, dazed as they stared off into space.

"Hey, nod if you can hear me!" the truck driver yelled, Renji's head turning to him but doing nothing else. His eyes rested on Ichigo before closing again, the driver feeling for a pulse.

The ambulance came there along with the fire department, some cops arriving to push off the growing crowd. Shiro was pushed back with the crowd as Renji and Ichigo were taken to separate ambulances, Renji quickly taken away.

Ichigo was shaking as they loaded him onto a stretcher, first degree burns on his back and arms. Before he was loaded into the ambulance he saw Shiro.

That was the calm in the storm.

**Author's note: Don't drink and drive.**


	10. Chapter 10: Memory

**Chapter 10**

Shiro sat by Ichigo's bed side, staring up at the ceiling. His injuries on his back were minor compared to the ones on his arms. They were all first degree, but Shiro knew it could have been worse if the truck driver hadn't put out the fire. Renji was in ICU, his injuries far worse.

Broke his left leg in several places, third degree burns on both legs and hands, a skull fracture, and three broken ribs. It would take him longer to heal.

Shiro, even though he didn't like Renji was worried. Ichigo loved him deeply, and if he died, Shiro knew no matter what he did, Ichigo would be severely distressed. He will eventually heal, but the Ichigo he knew would no longer exist.

He looked to his calm face. What should he do?

The door opened with a small creak, Shiro looking to see who had entered. His eyes widened.

**XXX**

Ichigo woke up slowly. He felt angry and depressed for some reason, his eyes burning with tears. He opened them but quickly closed them from the light that erupted in front of him, his hand rising up to cover them. He blinked a few times behind his hand, his eyes slowly adjusting to the light. His tears broke through when he saw a familiar face.

"Took you long enough."

All his friends surrounded him, Rukia sitting in a chair next to his bed. Ichigo vaguely remembered someone had sat there before her. Chad was holding balloons, a bunch of flowers placed in his room. Ichigo looked around to each of his friends, sitting up slowly as his heart twisted. He wiped away his tears, Rukia ruffling his hair.

"Thought you were never gonna wake up," she sighed, Ichigo giving her a shaky smile. He remembered what Renji said about her but put it past him. He had done worse.

"Renji!" Ichigo gasped, remembering what happened to end him up in the hospital. Rukia frowned, looking up to Uryuu. His frown was grim. Ichigo withheld a gasp, speaking softly like he would curse somebody.

"Is he dead?" Uryuu shook his head, Rukia's hand leaving his hair.

"No, he's in surgery right now. He got pretty messed up," Rukia informed, Ichigo falling against his pillows in near defeat. That hurt him though and he hunched over with a pained grunt, Shiro rushing to his side.

"Careful," he ordered with a frown, Ichigo nodding as he helped him to lay back down. Now that the pain had started, Ichigo's back felt like it was on fire. He bit the inside of his cheek and closed his eyes. Slowly, the pain began to dwindle.

"The doctor's said you had first degree burns on your back and arms, said they release you tomorrow with a prescription to help with the pain . You're lucky it was that minor," Shiro told him, Ichigo nodding. Ichigo looked to his friends, and looked back to Shiro. They didn't seem to be alarmed or confused by his presence, Ichigo wondering if he had introduced himself already.

"Did you introduce yourself?" Ichigo asked a tad awkwardly, Shiro smiling with a nod.

"Some of them, like Chad and Uryuu I already knew. Also, it turns out that Urahara is a close friend of my father," Shiro told him, Ichigo looking to the blonde haired man in confusion. Urahara just smiled back.

"Shiro told us why Renji got so angry. It wasn't right for him to jump to conclusions like that, but I did tell you from the beginning he was a very possessive, jealous man," Rukia told him, Ichigo finding enough of his humor to roll his eyes.

"You always tell me shit like that, this is the first time you were right," Ichigo replied, Rukia's cheeks going red as she narrowed her eyes in playful anger. Ichigo smiled, flipping her off. His wrist and down to his elbow were covered in bandages, Ichigo taking a second to stare at the accesory he was wearing.

"It looks like my arm got fat," Ichigo said in an almost dazed voice, earning some laughs from his friends. They stayed for another hour before they all begin to fill out, Ichigo getting rather tired. Shiro had told him he had been asleep from a near twenty four hours, but he was still tired.

He was tired because when he slept, he was able to forget.

For an entire month, Renji was stuck in a coma. The doctors said the skull fracture had caused more damage than they had first thought. When he was hit by the eighteen wheeler, an aneurysm that had been gradually growing popped. He barely got to the hospital in time. Ichigo was released, and for the next month with Shiro at his side, he waited for Renji to wake up.

"What are those?" Shiro asked one day as Ichigo entered, books held in his hands. Ichigo gave him a small smile, looking over to Renji.

"Renji's mother used to always read to him to put him to sleep. Ima read to him so he can hear my voice. I'm hoping when he hears it, he'll wake up." So that was exactly what Ichigo did. For three weeks he read to him, reading books like Alice in Wonderland, Sleeping Beauty, etc. Those had been Renji's favorite books. Shiro sat by his side and listened, his eyes closed as he let his voice soothe him.

After the fourth week, his work seemed to pay off. Ichigo had just got off the elevator when he heard someone scream. Ichigo rushed to Renji's room to see his hand clinging to a nurses wrist. The nurse had only gotten scared because he woke up so abruptly. Ichigo rushed to his side, touching a hand to his face.

"Renji? Renji look at me." His hand loosened around her wrist and she pulled away, Renji looking over to him. His eyes were dark, sleepy and dazed. They cleared slowly though, Renji blinking before slowly removing Ichigo's hand from his face.

"Who are you?"

**XXX**

Shiro held Ichigo as he sobbed outside of Renji's room. He had come just in time to hear Renji ask Ichigo who he was. Renji didn't have any memory of their relationship, the club, or his work. The last thing he remembered was that he was graduating from highschool.

"It'll be alright," the doctor told him, Shiro pulling him away when Ichigo started to shake him. Renji had looked at him like he was a crazy stranger. Though he and Ichigo had been childhood friends, it seemed like from his every memory he had of Ichigo had been erased. Shiro had never seen Ichigo so broken.

"Why?!" Ichigo sobbed against his chest, Shiro grunting when he punched his chest. He took in a squeaky breath, choking on his own saliva before crying that much harder.

"Why the fuck did this happen!" Ichigo sobbed against his chest, Shiro rubbing small circles on his lower back, careful of his burns. They were like a sunburn, but being so pale Shiro knew that shit hurt.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Ichigo sobbed quietly, Shiro sighing. It wasn't Ichigo's fault. It had been his.

"Ichigo, Ichigo," Shiro whispered, pushing back his hair that had gotten significantly longer over the past month.

"Listen, I know I messed shit up, but nothing could have changed what had happened. You wouldn't have been able to stop him from getting in that car no more than he would have been able to control the wheel," Shiro told him, Ichigo sobbing weakly against his chest.

"I understand he doesn't remember, but maybe you two can start over. We can just be friends while you and he find the reason you fell in love again," Shiro told him, Ichigo pulling away with a shaky inhale.

"I can't. I'll just repeat my mistake." Shiro frowned in confusion, Ichigo wiping his eyes with a hiccup.

"I wanted you so bad since the day I saw you. I wanted to get to know you more, but tied to Renji I knew I couldn't. I don't know, after all of this, if I can ever love him again like I had." Shiro felt his chest tighten at that, but he wasn't sure what it was from. He kissed Ichigo on his forehead, closing his eyes tight. He pulled away and released Ichigo from his embrace.

"Still, lets find out who he remembers. He would feel uncomfortable if he stayed with you," Shiro told him, Ichigo nodding his head as he wiped away his tears. Shiro took a deep breath and opened the door. Renji looked away from the nurse he had been talking to, his eyes curious as he watched Ichigo wipe away his tears. Shiro sat down in the seat next to his bed, Ichigo staying by the door.

"I am actually your neighbor, and I wanted to know who you remember last?" Shiro asked him, Renji nodding his bandaged head. He thought for a second before looking back to Shiro.

"Rukia." Ichigo looked up at that, feeling a tad hopeful.

"I took her to prom because she forced me to," Renji laughed, Shiro's smile relieved.

"Good. Would it be alright if you stay with her? It would be rather awkward if you stayed with a stranger huh?" Shiro asked with a chuckle, Renji nodding. Shiro looked over his shoulder. Ichigo was holding himself together rather nicely, talking to the nurse who had been talking to Renji earlier.

"I'll call her and tell her. Oh by the way, my name is Shiro. The orange haired man over there is Ichigo. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask her or us alright?" Shiro asked, Renji nodding. He seemed a lot more calmer and accepting of the fact he couldn't remember anything, Shiro sighing as he stood.

"Call Rukia," he told Ichigo as he passed by him, Ichigo nodding his head. He got out his phone, Shiro standing in front of him in waiting. The line ringed a few times before there was an answer.

"Is he awake?" Rukia asked off the bat, Shiro relieved when he saw Ichigo smile softly.

"Yes, and apparently the only person he remembers right now is you," Ichigo said sadly, looking back to Renji. He stared back with curiosity like he was a foreign being from outer space.

"Really? Oh…" Ichigo gave the phone to Shiro, his eyes filling with tears again. Shiro pat his head, Ichigo leaving the room. Shiro sighed, watching him walk away.

"Hello?" Shiro looked away, clearing his throat.

"It's Shiro, I wanted to ask if you can take in Renji, since you're the last person he remembers," Shiro asked, Rukia quiet for a second.

"S-Sure," she sighed, Shiro pinching the bridge of his nose.

"The doctor told me his memory will come back slowly. So until he remembers, or if he remembers at all, just have patience alright? I could just tell he is a teenage boy now," Shiro told her, Rukia humming in understanding.

"I will, and Shiro?" Shiro grunted in reply.

"Watch over Ichigo will you?" Shiro's chest tightening again, his eyes closing as he took in a deep breath.

"Sure."

"Thanks, talk to you later."

"Bye."

Shiro put the phone in his pocket, walking back over to Renji.

"I'm gonna be leaving now, so be good," he told Renji with a smile, hiding his sudden fatigue and sadness. Renji smiled back, touching a finger to his broken leg.

"Can't do much like this, but I promise I will be good," Renji replied, Shiro's smile faltering slightly.

Was this how he was before he went to prison? Was this the man Ichigo fell in love with?

Shiro nodded before leaving, finding Ichigo in the waiting room. His eyes were downcast and his bandages were wet, telling Shiro he had cried. He walked over to him, stopping in front of him. Ichigo looked up, his eyes puffy and his nose red. He sniffled, standing up slowly. They exited the hospital together, both solemn and tired.

This was the beginning of a new life.

**Author's note: Renji as forgotten, and Ichigo has no choice but to move on. Is Shiro falling for Ichigo? Is Ichigo falling for Shiro?**


	11. Chapter 11: Past

**Chapter 11**

Ichigo was at a loss. Since Renji had no memory of him, he had to pack up all of his things and bring them to Rukia's. Though he wouldn't admit it aloud, it was the most difficult task for him. He had wanted him to stay with him, be more like college roommates more than anything else. But he knew it couldn't work that way.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to stay here by himself. The apartment felt vacant and haunted without Renji's presence, every corner holding a memory. Ichigo felt caged in it, finding it hard to breathe no matter where he went. He felt defeated, guilty, angry, and selfish.

Inside, is this what he wanted? Did he want Renji to leave his life when he saw the man he had become after leaving prison?

The man at the hospital was Renji. That was him before the murder, before prison, before all that bullshit. He was a hyper, flirtatious idiot that Ichigo couldn't stop from falling in love with. Shiro was willing to let him go. He understood how much he loved him, but he had turned him down. Ichigo wanted Shiro more than he wanted Renji. But that was because the Renji he was with wasn't the Renji he met.

What about now?

Ichigo looked to the door when it was opened, his eyes focusing on a tired Shiro. He looked exhausted and his hand was shaking slightly. Ichigo narrowed his eyes and was about to comment on it, but Shiro spoke first.

"Packing up?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding with a sigh. He looked around and realized he had only managed to put one thing in the box. He blushed slightly, looking down to his hands. He was holding a portrait of Renji when he graduated from college. He had the biggest smile Ichigo had ever seen, but even then it seemed forced.

"He won't be getting out of the hospital for another month or two. You sure you wanna do this now?" Shiro asked, Ichigo shaking his head. He didn't trust his voice at that moment.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding silently. Though it was cold Ichigo didn't put on a sweater, the early days of December leaving the ground covered in snow. Once Ichigo walked outside and breathed in the cold air, he instantly calmed. His tears dried up and he felt like he had collected up his remaining pride.

"What we did, was it the wrong thing to do?" Ichigo asked, Shiro shaking his head.

"No, it was definitely not the smartest thing to do though. But nothing can be changed once it's done," Shiro replied, Ichigo tilting his head back and sighing. His breath wafted up into the air in a white mist, the wind carrying it away and behind him.

"Are you sure you don't want to get Renji back?" Shiro asked, Ichigo looking down to the pavement. He thought for a long hard moment, Shiro holding his breath. Shiro looked down when fingers brushed over his, opening his fisted hand. Their fingers slowly danced before locking together, Ichigo shaking his head.

"I feel like I was with him because I owed him. I loved him, but it wasn't a love I understood. I don't know, as a childhood friend, as the only one who didn't turn their back on him after the murder, I felt like he deserved love. I wanted to help him, was that so bad?" Ichigo asked, Shiro shaking his head.

"Everyone deserves a helping hand, but its up to them if they want to take it. In the beginning from my perspective, it seemed like he wanted it. But, in the end he just didn't want it anymore. He didn't want help, he wanted someone to love. When he saw the way you looked at me, I think he realised that you didn't love as much as you confessed," Shiro replied, Ichigo stopping in his short strides. Ichigo was frowning, his eyes angry.

"I loved him as much as I could, wasn't that enough?" Ichigo asked, his voice rough. Shiro sighed when he realised he hit a soft spot, walking up to Ichigo. He kissed Ichigo chastely, ignoring all the eyes that fell on them. Ichigo's cheeks, stained red from the cold became such a dark shade of red it looked like he scraped his cheeks against the cement. Shiro pulled away, running a finger over his hot cheek.

"Ichigo, I didn't say that to make you angry. I understand the wounds are still fresh, but could you ever move on thinking all this was your fault?" Shiro asked, Ichigo's shocked eyes downcast.

"No." His breath puffed out in a white mist, the mist touching against Shiro's lips. Shiro sighed, pulling away.

"I know this change will be hard, but remember i'll be there every step of the way, alright? We started this, and i'll be there until we end this." Shiro stated, Ichigo looking into his eyes. He didn't realise he was being stared at by onlookers, didn't realise that he couldn't feel his fingers anymore, didn't realise that his nose was running and red.

He only noticed that when those words were spoken, a weight was lifted off his chest.

XXX

Rukia sat by Renji's bedside, some pictures sitting on her lap. Renji didn't remember Chad, Uryuu, Orihime, any of them. He just remembered her, and all the friends they had made in middle school. He remembered Urahara, Shinji, Izuru, but not the club or being a drag queen. He didn't remember the murder, or going to prison. Rukia was glad, because the Renji she had become friends with was back. Not that hollow husk that he was when he left prison.

Renji was looking at a picture Ichigo took of him when he was in drag, Renji seeming disgusted and intrigued at the same time. Rukia had yet to tell him about him the murder and going to prison, feeling that should be put behind him. She was hoping he didn't get his memory back. She liked this Renji a lot.

"I can't believe I actually wore this," Renji finally laughed, his bandaged fingers letting go of the picture. He had a hard time just putting stuff down, instead just loosening his grip and dropping it. The nurses got used to it quickly, understanding he was in pain just holding onto something. Rukia had told him about him and Ichigo being together and was surprised from his answer.

"That's funny, last time I checked I didn't like guys."

Did that mean before he went to prison he was straight? What happened to him in prison for him to change?

"What's the next one?" Renji asked, Rukia looking down to her lap. She picked up the next one smiling softly. He and Ichigo were at the pharmacy, the picture of when they first started working there. She handed it over, Renji looking to it with an almost fond look in his eyes. It was lost though, confused and curious. Deep inside, Rukia thought she saw sadness.

"I never seen him smile like that. He was always the 'I frown all day' type of guy," Renji chuckled, Rukia laughing softly.

"You changed him. He's not as open with most people, but with you he shows his sensitive side. Even to Shiro." Renji looked up at that, his lips going tight together like he just ate a lemon.

"You say me and him were together, but I think he looks better with Shiro. I wouldn't know where to begin to treat a guy as a lover," Renji said with a smile, not seeming to be sad or angry at all by that. Rukia's smile faltered.

Now that she thought about it, they did look like they were pretty close…

"It amazes me. All the stuff I did," Renji said quietly, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"When I see the pictures, I feel like I could almost remember. Before I woke up, I had felt angry. So…. Could that have meant I was mad at Ichigo?" Rukia was silent for a second, her eyes wide as she felt her heart skip a beat.

She didn't want to be the one to tell him this. She took a deep breath and started.

"To be honest, you where. You had accused him of cheating on you. You were drunk at the time, and Ichigo said you had tried to beat Shiro up. He had stayed at his place to help him with his work, and when you came home, you hadn't taken that too lightly," Rukia whispered, Renji silent for a second. His eyes opened slowly.

"Rukia, what is it your not telling me?" Rukia felt her throat close up, her eyes closing as she tried to control the onset of tears that brewed in her eyes.

How could she taint him with the sins he couldn't remember?

"Rukia?" She looked up, Renji giving her a small smile. It seemed tired and lonely, making it that much harder for Rukia to tell him.

"I want to know everything about what i've done. I know for a fact I would never consciously try to hurt anybody unless they hurt Ichigo or you guys, so tell me. What have I done?" Rukia wiped away an escaped tear, collecting herself. When she felt she had the strength, she spoke.

"Do you remember Grimmjow?" Rukia asked, Renji nodding.

"Ichigo's highschool sweetheart? Correct?" Renji asked, Rukia nodding.

"To put it simple, he took Ichigo's virginity in a very awful way. It wasn't rape, but the way Ichigo described it made it seem that way. Well, Ichigo told you that and you went all the way to America where Grimmjow had went for college. You found him and-" Rukia's throat closed up, her eyes closing as she tried to collect herself again.

She had to tell him.

"You found him and beat him to death. You were sentenced to fifteen years in prison, but got out in ten for good behavior. When you came out, you were completely changed. Ichigo was the one who came to your side while the rest of us turned our backs on you. He took you in, got you a job and got you back on your feet. You did everything to prove you weren't insane, got your anger issues in order, but you still weren't-" Rukia couldn't finish, near hyperventilating as she hunched over.

"Me." She looked up at Renji's calm voice, her tears sliding down her cheeks and wetting her clenched fists. Renji was staring off into space, his body stiff. He seemed to be taking it all in, smiling sadly.

"I have a feeling I was probably raped in prison," Renji whispered, Rukia's eyes going wide.

"Wha?!" she gasped, Renji looking to her with that same sad smile.

"What else could have changed me? What could have made me become that monster? I understand I would have probably killed Grimmjow if I thought he had raped Ichigo, but for me to change that much? I probably went through hell." Rukia sniffled, Renji's smile widening.

"Don't worry about me though. If I ever do remember, i'll also remember what has happened here. I won't let myself degrade that much," Renji joked, Rukia sobbing softly. Renji reached over to her, patting her head.

"Even though you turned your back on me then, i'm glad you are helping me now," Renji said with a warm smile, his words only making her cry harder.

"I was thinking for a second I should get to know Ichigo again. I don't like him like that, but he seems like he would be a good friend to have around," Renji proclaimed with a grin, Rukia wiping away her tears with a small smile.

"Yeah, I would like that. We all would."

Outside Renji's room, Ichigo turned and walked away.

**Author's note: Almost didn't post this today. Was pretty busy.**


	12. Chapter 12: Touch

**Chapter 12**

It was quiet. The stars were out and the sun was asleep, the moon lost in the darkness. Ichigo was wide awake, the clock ticking just past twelve. He looked away from the daunting red lights, looking up to the ceiling. The funny thing was that he couldn't see it.

The apartment was vacant and cold, Ichigo turning onto his side. He glanced at the clock again.

12:01.

Ichigo couldn't take it anymore. He got up, stripping as he walked to the bathroom. He took a quick shower and put on his track uniform, heading out of his room and locking the door. He walked to the elevator and waited for it to come. The entire time he was alone. It had just turned saturday so he doubted Shiro was home at the moment.

It was freezing in the lobby when Ichigo stepped out but he didn't care, the cold doing heaven for his arms and back. He hadn't bothered to put on sweats did put on a sweater. It wasn't overly efficient and barely kept the cold from touching him. He didn't care though, nodding to the doorman before exiting.

He noticed that was the first time he ever did that.

He started out in a light jog, his watch around his wrist used to monitor his heart beat around his wrist. It also had the time so for Ichigo that gave it more of a use. He jogged three blocks down, his thighs burning. His calves seemed to be alright with slow, but Ichigo wanted to push himself. He began to run, going three more blocks. He could almost see the city now, Ichigo slowing back to a jog as he made it his destination. He was panting madly and his side hurt, but he kept going.

He reached the city by one, wondering if he should stop and go back. He had reached it this far though, so he thought he should go farther. He waited at a stop light, jogging in place. His side was throbbing and he felt like throwing up, his calves aching along with his thighs. But he didn't want to stop there. He set his eyes on a building that was probably a good ten minutes away by car. He took in a deep breath and ran like all of hell was on his ass.

XXX

Shiro waved good bye to his assistants, bone tired and full of ideas. This session had gone well. The entire first half of the anime had been completed and approved of his editor. It was something to celebrate. He had made it back up and was no longer behind which had them all celebrating. It lasted an hour and they were back to work. Shiro knew some of them worked too much, so he tried to do as much work as possible.

They had agreed that Makito should try to end it but then comes back. His boy friend has an evil alter ego and plots a way to murder them both after finding out without getting caught. Now all Shiro had to do was write all that as the second half of the manga in less than a week or two. He sighed as he exited the building, looking up at the sound of pounding shoes and heavy breathing.

"Watch out!" Shiro couldn't move fast enough, someone barreling into him. He hadn't realized how hard concrete was until that day, his back aching as it hit it with the force of a boulder falling. He grunted before gasping for breath, the sudden weight on him shocking his lungs.

"Oh my god sorry," a familiar voice gasped as the weight disappeared, Shiro sitting up and putting a hand to his chest as he tried to get his breathing back in order. He looked up, surprised to Ichigo. He was sweating through his clothing, his chest heaving as he panted. It sounded rough like he hadn't drank any water. Ichigo had his head bowed as he panted, his throat parched as he swallowed. He looked up, his eyes going wide.

"Shiro! Are you alright?!" Ichigo asked worriedly, Shiro nodding his head before looking down to Ichigo's long legs. His knee was scraped, his thighs shaking slightly like he was a horse who was pushed to it's limits.

"How long have you been running?" Shiro asked, Ichigo looking to a watch. Shiro raised an eyebrow. He did not know he owned one of those.

"I started running at about twelve fifteen and it's one twenty now…" Shiro was surprised he managed to run that far without pulling a muscle, but it seemed like he had shocked the hell out his legs. They seemed to be straining to keep him up.

"Your knee is scraped, you look like you could barely stand, and you ran all the way here. Why did you do that so early in the morning?" Shiro asked, Ichigo shrugging his shoulders. He stood up, his legs shaking from the effort. Ichigo didn't show his obvious exhaustion, but Shiro could almost sense it like it was an aura. He was getting tired just being near him.

"I couldn't sleep." Shiro rolled his eyes, glad there was no one around as he wrapped an arm around Ichigo. Ichigo relaxed at first, closing his eyes. But when his feet suddenly left the ground he yelped in surprise, Shiro chuckling as he held him bridal style.

"You shouldn't push yourself, you're not as fit as you used to be," Shiro told him, Ichigo punching his chest as he walked to the company parking lot.

"I'm not a freaking girl! I know my limits! I sprinted all the way over here!" Ichigo proclaimed, Shiro nodding his head as he looked for his car.

"Yup, and now your legs are shaking in the effort to just keep you standing," Shiro pointed out, Ichigo's legs shaking slightly to prove his point. Ichigo huffed, taking a step back when Shiro put him down. He crossed his arms over his chest with a frown, glaring daggers at his back. But when Shiro took out his keys, Ichigo realized for the first time he had a car. He had a black Honda civic, Ichigo running his fingers over the hood. It was beautiful.

"Do you like it?" Ichigo looked up to Shiro, his eyes a tad nervous. Ichigo forced down his smile, shaking his head.

"Nope, if you had a Toyota Supra then that would be amazing," Ichigo said with a rich boy attitude, Shiro smiling.

"I do have one. I just didn't take it this time. I'll let you drive it to work if you promise to treat her right." Ichigo's eyeballs bulged out and he walked over to him, Shiro opening the passenger car door. Ichigo slid in, looking at the interior with awe struck eyes. It was just a honda civic, but inside it was beautiful. He ran a finger over the stick, Shiro getting in with a sigh.

"Don't pleasure her too much," he joked, Ichigo rolling his eyes but removing his finger. He relaxed back into the seat, sighing softly. Shiro turned on the car, looking to him as he closed his door.

"Do you own a car?" Shiro asked, Ichigo shaking his head.

"I used to walk from home and to work all the time. I was in shape until Renji got a car. I got lazy," Ichigo chuckled the last part, Shiro smiling before shaking his head. Ichigo opened his eyes, thinking back to the car that was no more. It hadn't been much, but it wasn't an eyesore either. Until a few months ago anyway.

"How come you have two cars?" Ichigo asked as they began to drive, Shiro shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't know. I had this car then saw the Supra. I just had to get it," Shiro said with amusement, his lips stretching up into a half grin. Ichigo wasn't sure if it was creepy or a turn on. He decided it was both.

"Were you serious about letting me drive your Supra to work?" Ichigo asked, looking down to his knee. It was bleeding so he licked his thumb, wiping away the blood. He smeared it so he wiped it again. Shiro looked to his knee and sped up just slightly.

"I'm not sure, she being my baby and all," Shiro replied, Ichigo's head snapping up. He tried not pout as he sat back.

"Please? I'll treat it with the utmost care!" Ichigo claimed, Shiro swishing his mouth as he thought it over. They stopped at a stop light, Shiro clicking his tongue.

"Okay, but on one condition," Shiro offered, Ichigo nodding his head eagerly. Shiro grinned, Ichigo feeling like he was probably gonna ask for sex. He was about to say nevermind but Shiro spoke first.

"After you get back from work you have to wash it," Shiro laughed, knowing what Ichigo had thought. He started to drive again when the light turned green. Ichigo felt a tad guilty for thinking so low of him, clearing his throat as he thought it over.

It wouldn't be that bad…

"Why wash it?" Ichigo asked, Shiro looking in the mirror to see if anyone was behind him, turning into the housing area.

"Because i'm to lazy to do it myself. I would go to a car wash but my baby to special. She needs hands on cleaning," Shiro proclaimed with a smirk, Ichigo rolling his eyes. He guessed it was worth taking her for a ride.

They arrived at their apartment complex, Ichigo sighing as he stepped out of the car. The engine died with a low purr, Shiro getting out and patting her hood.

"She may seem like any usual car, but she is very reliable. I made it three miles with her almost completely empty," Shiro said in a dreamy voice, Ichigo rolling his eyes.

"Kiss her if your that impressed," Ichigo grumbled, Shiro walking over to him.

"Jealous?" Shiro whispered into his ear, smirking when he made Ichigo shiver. He laughed when he swat him away, the two walking into the complex. They were silent till they got up to their rooms, Ichigo frowning as he stared at his door.

He didn't want to go back there. Shiro seemed to notice his reluctance, clearing his throat.

"You can come over till you got to go to work," Shiro invited, Ichigo giving him a small smile. They entered his apartment, Shiro sighing from exhaustion as he dropped his coat on the back of a chair. Ichigo stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Shiro noticed, putting down his suitcase.

"What's wrong?" he asked, Ichigo shrugging. Shiro snorted, Ichigo looking up to him with a minor glare. Shiro just shook his head, walking up to him. He cupped his cheeks, smiling when Ichigo pouted.

"What do you want Ichigo?" Shiro asked, Ichigo looking away. Shiro shook his head lightly, Ichigo looking back to him.

"What do you want?"

Ichigo felt like he couldn't speak. He wanted comfort, he wanted love, he wanted touch. He wanted everything but wasn't selfish enough to say it. He threw away his thoughts, leaning in slowly. Shiro's lips parted but he didn't move, waiting. Ichigo looked into his eyes before down to his lips, moving that much closer. When their lips finally touched Ichigo shivered, pressing harder. He wanted it all so badly he felt like crying, touching a hand to the back of Shiro's head as he pressed harder.

Shiro groaned softly, his hands sliding down Ichigo's face to his neck, tilting his head to the side to taste what he had only done once. Ichigo was hesitant at first but with gentle licks from Shiro's tongue he unsealed his lips, gasping when his tongue darted into his mouth. Ichigo went into a frenzy, his hands sliding down his body and pulling at his shirt, pulling it from his pants.

Shiro pulled away to help but Ichigo pulled him back, his fingers surprisingly steady as he unbuttoned his shirt. Shiro hurried and got it off once he got to the last button, reaching down and grabbing Ichigo's thighs, picking him up with a grunt.

Ichigo wrapped his legs around his waist, placing kisses all over his face before Shiro got his lips, licking his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. Ichigo gasped when he was dropped onto a bed, his back aching from the contact. He didn't care though, stripping off his sweater and throwing it somewhere. Shiro took off his shirt with slight care, not wanting to agitate his back or arms. He tore off his shorts and boxers though, reaching for his belt.

Ichigo got up and swat his hands away, calming down slightly with his hands no longer on him. He undid his belt and dropped it to the ground, undoing the button before pulling down the zipper. Shiro's pants fell as they succumbed to gravity, Ichigo feeling hot when he saw the tent in his boxers. He leaned forward, licking the length through the cloth. Shiro grit his teeth, Ichigo looking up with wide eyes, his lips pouty and bruised from his kisses.

"Ichigo, are you sure?" Shiro said suddenly as Ichigo slowly pulled down his boxers, his length slapping against his stomach in relief after being released. Ichigo nodded with a low hum, Shiro grabbing his chin before he could touch his cock with his mouth. Ichigo looked up, suddenly feeling like a naughty kid who got caught stealing food.

"Are you sure? That you want this?" Shiro asked, Ichigo nodding. He swallowed when Shiro didn't release his chin, his throat still a tad parched.

"I want this," Ichigo finally replied, Shiro slowly releasing his chin. Ichigo gave him a small smile, grabbing his girth in an almost experimental way. He leaned forward, licking the slit, a drop of precum left on his tongue. He swallowed, licking the bottom of the head before opening his mouth wide. He breathed through his nose as he wrapped his lips around the fat head, the flesh hot in his mouth.

"Oh god," Shiro gasped, Ichigo slurping as he hollowed his cheeks. He slid his tongue over the bottom of his shaft, pulling away and tonguing the slit again. He took a deep breath, Shiro looking down. His eyes bulged out of his head and his entire body seized up as Ichigo took him all the way down, his nose pressing into his almost grayish silver pubic hair. Shiro pressed a hand to his head as he groaned, lost in heaven.

Ichigo pulled back up before going down again, swallowing around his girth. Ichigo's watery eyes looked up when Shiro whimpered. It wasn't an almost whimper either. It was firm and innocent in a way, Ichigo pulling back up slowly. Shiro was panting, sweat already clinging to his pale skin, creating an almost shining sheen all over his body.

"Sensitive?" Ichigo joked, Shiro chuckling as he tried to keep his thighs from shaking. He had never been given a blow job like that. Most couldn't get the thickness of his girth into their mouths, let alone down their throats.

"You got a big mouth," Shiro growled as he leaned down, Ichigo laying back with a grin.

"So they say," Ichigo replied, reaching up and pulling him down. Shiro was half kneeling on the bed and half standing on the floor, the position making him feel thrown off. Ichigo gasped when hands grabbed his ass and he was half pushed and half lifted up the bed, giggling when Shiro bit his side, touching a ticklish spot.

"I'm too salty to eat," Ichigo laughed, Shiro pulling away with a grin.

"I like salty," he purred, Ichigo turning onto his back. It would aggravate his back less, and without speaking Shiro spread his cheeks. Ichigo fisted the blankets as he kissed a line from the middle of his spine to his hole, flicking the puckered flesh. Ichigo pulled away slightly but Shiro dug his fingers into his ass.

"Don't," Shiro whispered, flicking his tongue against it before pushing inside. Ichigo shifted, rising up slightly when he licked a spot that sent shivers up his spine.

"W-What do I taste like?" Ichigo asked, Shiro pulling his tongue out. His nose stayed against the base of his spine though, his face pressed against his ass. Ichigo couldn't help but laugh when his fingers tickled down his thighs, Shiro licking him one more time before raising his head.

"Candy, You taste like fucking candy," Shiro replied with a lick of his lips, Ichigo gasping when he stuck in a finger. He pulled up, Ichigo clawing the sheets as his ass was raised higher in the air. He moaned as he stuck his finger deeper, Ichigo's cheeks stained a dark red. He groaned when he inserted another finger, his ass lifted again.

"I just love playing with your ass," Shiro said with a smirk, Ichigo biting the sheets when he pressed against his prostate. He moaned and pushed back on them, biting the sheets harder when he rubbed his finger against the small bundle of nerves.

"Stop teasing!" Ichigo snapped, Shiro smirking as he let his fingers slide free. He got the lube, smacking Ichigo's ass with it.

"I don't understand why you're so eager. I wanted to take my time and show you heaven," Shiro sighed, Ichigo looking over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"I would have to cum first and you are teasing me, I will not be coming anytime soon with thahh!" Shiro had slicked himself up while he talked, waiting for the right moment before thrusting in. He only got half way in because Ichigo tensed up, but it was worth the pleasure and shock that ran over his beautiful blushing face.

"Were you done talking?" Shiro asked, Ichigo groaning a yes as he forced himself to relax. He always tightened up so quickly it was like he was a virgin each time he had sex. But the burning stretching pain was worth the pleasure he knew he would receive later. Shiro sunk in slowly after Ichigo gave him the order, going onto all fours behind him as he panted. It was so tight and so good, Shiro pressing his lips to Ichigo's shoulder.

"Say when," Shiro panted against his skin, gritting his teeth when Ichigo bumped up his ass against his stomach, jerking his cock and making him drool. He was sweating pools already, panting like a dog even though they had yet to actually start. Ichigo reached back and grabbed his hand, moaning softly.

"When," Ichigo whispered with a chuckle, Shiro biting his flesh as he tried to starve off his orgasm as he tightened around him.

"Don't laugh," Shiro hissed when he released his flesh, Ichigo nodding. Shiro waited till he had calmed before moving, pulling his hips back before thrusting forward with a slap, his heavy balls slapping against Ichigo's ass.

Ichigo moaned, pushing back against him even though his pelvis was already touching him. Shiro began a quick tempo, slowing down every few thrusts to grind against him, pressing up against his prostate and earning moaning mewls from his orange haired lover.

Ichigo gasped when he thrust a tad harder, gritting his teeth as he rocked. The bed creaked loudly, Shiro doing it just as hard. Ichigo cried out, lowering his head to the sheets. He was so full and stretched to his limit, his cock rubbing against his inner walls and rubbing against his prostate, sending sweet jolts of pleasure all over his body. Ichigo's eyes snapped open, his dilated pupils darting to the clock. It had only been twelve minutes but his stomach was tightening up, Ichigo gasping against the sheets when Shiro grinded against him.

He closed his eyes tight as he tried to starve off his orgasm, reaching between his legs to hold it. Shiro swat his hand away though, keeping his hands pinned to the bed. This left his chest laying on his back, Ichigo hissing as his sweat burned his back.

"I want you to come without being touched," Shiro whispered into his ear, Ichigo shaking his head as he tried to fight it. Shiro's constant thrusting and the stimulation to his prostate made it come that much closer, Ichigo gasping before biting the sheets.

He wanted to be touched, by anything, anyone. He wanted to cum so badly he was leaking buckets, his orgasm slowly breaking down it's dam.

"S-Shiro! Let me cum!" Ichigo gasped with each thrust, Shiro licking the sweat off his neck. He tried to peak between Ichigo's legs, only seeing the leaking head of his cock. He thrust harder and faster, Ichigo crying out in a sobbing like whine.

"Shiro!" Ichigo whimpered, Shiro panting as his own orgasm grew near. He closed his eyes, Ichigo's small whimpers and mewls not helping his self control.

"Shiroooo!" Ichigo moaned, the only word he was able to form as he begged. He started gasping as his orgasm began to pound against the dam, Shiro pressing his lips to his ear.

"Cum for me Ichigo. Cum now."

Ichigo bit the sheets, his scream of ecstasy muffled by the mattress as he came all over the bed. Some of his cum hit his chin and neck, Ichigo screaming again when Shiro hit his prostate, feeling like his spine was being torn out of him in the most pleasurable, hurtful way as he came again. Shiro gasped, his breath stolen from him as Ichigo's walls clamped around him, his eyes shutting tight as he grit his teeth. He shook violently as he came, his thighs shaking from the force. Ichigo relaxed and began to milk his oversensitive cock, Shiro pulling out with a groan. He fell beside Ichigo, panting as Ichigo fell across his chest.

They laid there and panted, both slowly coming down from their euphoric high. Shiro ran his fingers through Ichigo's hair, staring up at the ceiling. Ichigo shivered, staring off into space.

"We should totally get a cat." Ichigo laughed.

**Author's note: I drew a picture. It's not the best at all, but it's a pic of Ichigo in drag. Thought I might as well do it despite how bad I suck. art/Untitled-Drawing-472927908**

**P.S. I will post again tomorrow.**


	13. Chapter 13: Years Gone

**Chapter 13**

Shiro looked up when there was a knock at his door, looking to the clock. It was five in the afternoon, Shiro stretching with a yawn. He stood up, hissing when he hit his foot against the table leg. He half hoped half walked to the door, opening it with a hello. He wasn't expecting to be attacked by a ball of orange, Shiro falling back with a yelp. That didn't stop Ichigo though. He straddled his legs and babbled, Shiro putting a finger to his mouth. Ichigo tilted his head to the side.

"Breathe." Ichigo rolled his eyes but took a deep breath, relaxing on top of him. The sudden pressure against his groin didn't help calm down Shiro's jittery nerves but he ignored it.

"Now, tell me what the hell you just said," Shiro ordered, Ichigo grinning wide.

"Remember the job offering at the hospital?" Ichigo asked, Shiro nodding. He relaxed beneath Ichigo, uncaring that the door was wide open.

"Well I went for the job interview and got the job! I start tomorrow at eight! I get a pay raise and everything! I had gotten a Master's Degree in Medicine, but now I'm finally becoming a doctor!" Ichigo exclaimed, Shiro gasping when he hugged him.

He wasn't sure how many more times his lungs could be shocked until they just stopped working.

"That's great Ichigo," Shiro congratulated, pain shooting up his arm. He grunted in pain, Ichigo rising up.

"Am I hurting you?" Ichigo asked, his eyes trailing behind him when he felt something twitch against him. Shiro's hand was spasming, Ichigo rising up with a gasp. Shiro sat up, holding his arm to his chest.

"Bathroom! Medicine cabinet! Get the bottle!" Shiro grit out, getting up slowly. Ichigo didn't stop and ask questions. He ran to the bathroom like his life depended on it, getting the Vicodin from the medicine cabinet. He rushed back, Shiro sitting at the table with a glass of water. There were tears in his eyes, Ichigo uncapping the bottle.

"Two," Shiro informed through clenched teeth, Ichigo nodding as he poured out two. He parted Shiro's lips, hurting his fingers when he bit down from the pain. He used the strength he had to keep his teeth parted, Ichigo getting the water. He put the pills in his mouth before pouring some water, Shiro swallowing before coughing.

Ichigo was scared shitless. He had never seen Shiro in so much pain before, his heart beating erratically in his chest. His hand slowly stopped spasming, his tensed body relaxing. He slumped against the chair after a moment, Ichigo sighing in relief as Shiro blinked his watery eyes. A tear fell down his cheek.

"What the fuck was that?" Ichigo asked, his voice soft from shock and fear. Shiro remained quiet, sighing after a long few minutes.

"When I lived in Africa, I had a lot of friends that weren't the best influence. One day, we all decided to sneak into an animal reserve and try to corner a lion. I was covered head to toe in cloth, the material hiding me well in the tall grass. My friends were exposed though since they weren't like me. We managed to corner a lioness, thinking she was alone." Ichigo was lost in it all, imagining Shiro in his silk robes as he snuck through the tall grass, his friends beside him holding spears.

"She had been part of a large pride, the largest in the safari. Instead of cornering her, we were cornered. All my friends were murdered, but me, being so well hidden escaped. But not before the female got a good taste of my blood. She nearly took off my arm, and probably would have if the reserve police hadn't stepped in. She messed it up pretty bad. What just happened was the side effects of that day."

Ichigo blinked.

"I was sent to a mental hospital after having shown signs of severe PTSD and what they called beginning insanity. In there though I started to draw. I sucked at first cause I could barely hold a pencil, but as my wounds healed I drew better and better. Took me twelve years to get out of there. Two years later a company here accepted my work. Now here I am now."

Ichigo was shocked.

"Twelve years? How old were you when you went in?" Ichigo asked, Shiro scratching the back of his head.

"Eleven?" Ichigo did the math, feeling a tad off now.

"I'm older than you," Ichigo whispered, Shiro laughing. Ichigo was surprised. After all of that, and he was still managing to laugh.

"I'm twenty six."

"Ah then you're not that old!" Shiro exclaimed, Ichigo gasping when he picked him up and sat him on the table. He looked behind him as he placed kisses all over his neck, seeing his manga was on the table. He was centimeters from sitting on it.

"Stop! Your manga!" Ichigo gasped, Shiro pulling away to look over Ichigo's shoulder. He sighed when Ichigo picked up one of the papers, already hooked. Shiro's boner weeped but he forced it down, sitting down in his seat. He watched Ichigo read the manga completely out of order, completely entranced.

He never did read it in order. That gave Shiro an idea. He went through what he had done, switching the order. He stood up suddenly, Ichigo jumping slightly.

"Baby you're a genius!" Shiro exclaimed, kissing Ichigo before scurrying to the phone. Ichigo blinked in confusion.

"Baby?" Shiro ignored him, talking enthusiastically over the phone to someone else. Ichigo smirked, looking back to the manga.

He could see what they meant from beginning insanity.

XXX

Rukia sighed as she sat in the waiting room, tapping her foot anxiously. Renji had to go through another surgery. They were going to remove his broken leg. He had got an infection seemingly overnight, the infection so bad they couldn't salvage the limb. She looked up at the sound of fast footsteps, smiling tiredly when she saw Shiro and Ichigo enter.

"Anything?" Ichigo asked, Rukia shaking her head. It had been several hours already and she was tired. Ichigo had work and Shiro did also, but she understood. At that moment the doctor came out, Ichigo's eyes darting to him as Rukia stood. He looked exhausted, stopping in front of the trio.

"Is he okay?" Ichigo asked, the doctor giving him a smile.

"He is just fine. The surgery went well and the infection hasn't spread," the doctor told them, Ichigo sighing in relief as he looked up to the ceiling.

"You can not see him right now, but do realize when you see him his leg with be slightly swollen. It would be best if you didn't overreact when you see that, that will only alarm him," the doctor told them, the trio nodding.

"May I talk to the spouse?" the doctor asked, the three looking around.

"I'm his boy friend," Ichigo spoke up, the doctor looking to him.

"Please follow me," the doctor advised, Ichigo following, looking over his shoulder to Rukia and Shiro. Their eyes were hopeful but concerned. The doctor led him into an isolated room, Ichigo shaking his head when he offered him a seat. The doctor's smile faltered.

"I have some bad news," the doctor told him, Ichigo nodding his head. He strengthened his resolve, but he was shaking inside.

"Renji unfortunately has prostate cancer. It's level three, so has yet to spread anywhere else. Sadly though, it is untreatable. He is too far along for us to help him anymore."

Ichigo couldn't breathe. He put a hand to his chest, taking a step back. His legs felt weak. The doctor noticed and helped him to sit down, Ichigo staring off into space.

Why hadn't he told him?

"How long?" Ichigo whispered, the doctor sighing.

"I can give him a year." Ichigo put a hand to his mouth, breathing in slowly as he tried to stop himself from crying. He had to be strong for Renji.

"I will prescribe some medication to help with the discomfort. He will be able to leave the hospital in about a months time." The doctor put a hand to his shoulder as Ichigo lost his war and began to cry, sobbing softly into his hands.

Rukia stood up when Ichigo walked out, Shiro walking over to him when he saw his tears. Ichigo tried to wipe them away though, Shiro's hand on his lower back slightly comforting.

"What did he say?" Rukia asked, a tad fearful. She knew Ichigo had a sensitive side, but she always knew his strong side. He would never cry and was the strongest man she knew. What had the doctor said to make him cry?

"What did he say?" Rukia asked again, Ichigo taking a deep shaky breath.

"He has incurable p-prostate cancer." Rukia froze.

"The doctor s-said he probably o-only has a year," Ichigo said shakily, Shiro's hand tightening in his shirt. Rukia sat back down, her eyes wide as she tried to take it all in.

A year? One measly year?

"Because of his burns he'll be released in about a month. He'll still move in with Rukia," Ichigo said with a tad more strength, trying hard to hide his sadness.

Rukia looked up when a hand was put to her shoulder. It was Shiro, his eyes sympathetic. She wanted to yell at him. None of this would have happened if it weren't for him. But she knew that was a lie.

"When can we see him?" Rukia asked, Ichigo wiping away his tears.

"In about two hours. Once he wakes up the doctor said he wants him to start moving around. His leg will heal faster that way." Rukia nodded, standing up slowly.

"You two can leave, you must be tired," Rukia whispered, Ichigo giving her a concerned look. Rukia waved him off though, her smile wobbling as she tried to hold back her tears. Her tears were barely being held back but she did her best.

"He probably won't wake up til tomorrow anyway, you know he loves his sleep," Rukia joked, Ichigo nodding slowly. He and Shiro left, Rukia left standing in the waiting room. Her tears slowly began to fall, a mother holding her sick child looking to her.

She was going to make sure that Renji got what he deserved. She was going to give him the best goddamned year that he ever had. He deserved at least that much.

Ichigo got in the Supra, looking out the window to the snow. It was February, but it looked like a frozen hell outside. Ichigo looked to the side when Shiro got in, his eyes tired. Bags were under his eyes, his hand shaking slightly. Ichigo sighed.

"Switch, ima drive," Ichigo ordered, Shiro not even bothering to protest. They switched and Ichigo drove off, getting them home quickly. He had sped through shortcuts he took when he walked, avoiding heavy traffic. Shiro had fallen asleep once he turned on the car. When they got home Ichigo shook him awake, able to get a laugh when Shiro slurred something about the movie Pretty Woman.

He needed to laugh.

"Ichigo." Ichigo looked over his shoulder after turning off the light in Shiro's room, barely seeing Shiro's pale form.

"Yeah?" Ichigo asked, Shiro sitting up with a frown.

"Come here." Ichigo was hesitant at first, unsure of what he wanted. If it was sex he was far from being in the mood. But he went over, Shiro patting the bed. Ichigo crawled on, resting on his calves.

"Lay down with me," Shiro yawned, Ichigo raising a brow. He didn't protest though, wanting his comfort. He laid down, Shiro laying down behind him. His hand had stopped shaking, relaxing like a fat rock over his hip. Ichigo gasped when his hand slid up his waist and he was pulled closer, breath wafting against the back of his neck.

"If you want to cry, go ahead," Shiro whispered against his flesh, Ichigo shivering.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so bad it burned. His eyes overflowed with tears, his bottom lip shaking. He turned around in the embrace, pressing his face into Shiro's chest.

Shiro remained silent.

Ichigo's pain was his own.

**Author's note: Renji is dying, Ichigo is pained, and Rukia wants someone to blame. What about Shiro?**


	14. Chapter 14: Acceptance

**Chapter 14**

Ichigo was smiling as he wheeled Renji towards Rukia's large estate, her brother out on errands. Renji was really excited, bouncing in his seat. Ichigo couldn't help but grin.

The moving had been a pain in the ass, since Renji had a lot more stuff than Ichigo expected, but it all payed off. Renji would have assistance from their many house helpers, and had his own limo. Ichigo just hoped that all the stuff that Rukia was giving him wouldn't go to his head.

He was surprised that Byakuya even agreed to half the shit she had done.

"It looks like it got bigger!" Renji exclaimed, wobbling in the wheelchair. He wanted to walk, but would have to wait. He had just started to learn how to use his prosthetic leg, only able to stand in it at the moment.

"Don't move so much," Ichigo laughed as they entered the large estate, the ramp on the side proving to be very helpful. The doors were opened by the butler, Ichigo giving him a wide smile as they entered. It was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. Ichigo had only been here once, but never inside.

"Welcome." A thousand maids bowed, ichigo stopping out of pure shock. He calmed though when he saw Rukia rush down the stairs, her lips turned up in a wide smile. She ran to them and hugged Renji before hugging Ichigo.

"Sorry for making you come at this time of day," Rukia apologized with a bow, Ichigo waving his hand in dismissal.

"I managed to get a ten minute nap. That's enough to keep me going for a while longer," Ichigo replied, Rukia straightening up with a smile. The trio turned around at a low whistle, Ichigo's face lighting up when he saw Shiro. He looked to them with a wolfish grin, walking up to them like he owned the place.

"Your best wine madame!" he bellowed, Rukia laughing as she went up to him and hugged him. They were all happy. For the past month it had been only sadness and stress. Ichigo was barely in his apartment anymore, spending his time with Shiro. But the gloom of death had still lingered over his head. Now that Renji had finally been released, he cheered everybody up.

As long as he was around he promised no one would be sad.

Ichigo wondered for a long time where this Renji had gone.

"I literally have work in like an hour though, so I can't stay long," Ichigo informed, Renji sighing as Rukia frowned.

"You promised you would celebrate with us," Renji reminded, Ichigo feeling like a workaholic father. He felt like he was betraying Renji, but he couldn't afford to skip work. He had just started to get the hang of things. He looked at his watch, sighing.

"Wait! I can videotape it all!" Rukia exclaimed, Renji's frown brightening into a handsome smile. He nodded, Ichigo sighing in relief as his neck was saved. He was thinking of coming after work, but he had plans then too.

He and Shiro were moving in together. In simple terms Ichigo was just gonna dump all his shit at his apartment, giving up his old one. There were too many memories there that haunted him.

Ichigo smiled, looking to Shiro. He was standing behind him, his hand snaking around his waist. Rukia noticed before he could pull away, her eyes going wide. She was about to speak up but Renji stopped her.

"So, you two go to work. Me and Rukia have to start celebrating!" he exclaimed, Ichigo smiling at him before looking to Rukia. Her eyes were narrowed in question. Ichigo decided he might as well spill the beans.

It may have had a rocky start, but he was glad to be with Shiro. Rukia of all people should know.

"Renji, Rukia. Before I leave I have something to tell you." Rukia's eyes went wide as Renji turned his wheelchair around so he could face Ichigo. Ichigo cleared his throat, looking up to Shiro. He looked a tad nervous, his eyes set on Rukia.

"Me and Shiro are officially a couple."

"What?!" Ichigo spun around, his eyes going wide when he saw the gang. There was Rangiku, Chad, Uryuu, Orihime, and Keigo, all standing there stunned. Ichigo felt like drowning himself. Rangiku walked up to Shiro, her eyes narrowed. She had only met him once at the hospital, and they were quick friends. Ichigo wasn't so sure anymore.

"He moved on quick," Uryuu muttered, Ichigo glaring at him. He didn't have to be rude about it.

Rangiku took a step back, Orihime coming to stand next to her. They both had calculating looks in their eyes.

"Question One: Do you promise to treat him with respect?" Shiro was confused, Ichigo covering his face with his hands in humiliation. They had done this with Grimmjow and it had been the most embarrassing thing ever.

Shiro nodded, Rangiku grabbing him by the collar.

"Say I promise," she ordered, Shiro feeling a tad small. He had never been so intimidated by a woman.

"I promise," he replied, Rangiku releasing him.

"Question Two: Do you promise to not to separate him from us?" Rangiku asked, Shiro almost nodding again. He caught his mistake, clearing his throat when Rangiku narrowed his eyes.

"I promise." Rangiku smiled, taking Shiro into a hug. Shiro gasped for breath as his face was pushed into her breasts, his muffled protests ignored.

"Good! Now treat Ichigo good or i'll kill you," Rangiku exclaimed, releasing him. Shiro was shaken, moving away from her. Ichigo laughed, for sure he was doubting becoming her friend.

"How long?" Rukia asked, her voice dark. Ichigo looked to her, seeing her eyes downcast. Ichigo felt like she was trying to get him to confess. But since he and Shiro didn't become an official couple till two months ago, he felt no need to bring up the affair.

"Shortly after Renji woke up. I had been a wreck and he comforted me. I didn't realize it would lead to this," Ichigo replied, Renji looking from Ichigo to Rukia. He could feel the tension radiating off from her and felt like it was his fault.

"Well, i'm glad you moved on!" Renji exclaimed, sighing in relief inside when Rukia's tension dwindled. She was staring at him in shock, Renji grabbing the sides of the wheelchair. He grunted as he slowly lifted himself up, waving Rukia off when she tried to come to his side and help him. He was sweating from the effort, but he wanted to do this himself.

"Renji…" Ichigo watched entranced, his heart stopping when Renji stood. He took a step, wobbling slightly and nearly falling over. He raised a hand though when he tried to help him, Renji's eyes determined. His steps were slow and small, but he made it, standing in front of Shiro. His face looked pained, but he smiled. He outstretched his hand, Shiro puzzled. He reached his own out, taking his hand in a handshake. Renji grinned.

"Treat Ichigo good. I may not remember what happened between us, but I know he deserves you," Renji told him, Shiro's puzzled frown lifting into a wide grin of his own.

"I will," he promised, Ichigo looking from Shiro to Renji.

Would he approve after he got back his memory?

**XXX**

Ichigo was exhausted. He washed his hands, jumping slightly when a hand clapped on his back. He looked behind him, giving a tired smile to his assistant.

"You'll get used to the evil hours," he joked, Ichigo's smile falling. He looked back to his hands, seeing that they were clean. He had just done a surgery on a five year old girl with a pole through her chest. There were so many times he nearly messed up. But it had gone well and she was perfectly fine.

"You made a lot of good calls, she would have died if you hadn't been there," his assistant told him, his hand leaving his shoulder. Ichigo sighed, turning off the water.

"Well you know what they say, I do well under pressure," Ichigo said over his shoulder as he dried his hands.

"Ichigo?" he looked up from the cloth, his assistant looking unsure.

"Me and my friends are going out tonight, wanna join?" Ichigo smiled but shook his head.

"I'm going to move into a new place today. Sorry James," he apologized, laughing when a blush erupted over his cheeks. He was cute, but Ichigo already had his eyes set on someone else. For such a big man to be such a teddy bear... Ichigo just shook his head and threw away his paper towel.

Ichigo left hurriedly, wanting to get home and nap before moving. He would have waited longer to move in, but he couldn't last another day in that apartment. Plus he had till tomorrow till the doors would be locked for good. He had to hurry.

The Supra purred when he turned the keys in the ignition, speeding home. He rushed into the elevator and to Shiro's door, knocking like a man who was desperate to sell his product. Shiro opened the door and caught his fist when it almost hit his face. Ichigo pulled away with a sheepish chuckle.

"Calm down will ya?" Shiro grumbled, obviously tired. Ichigo wondered how many nights he stayed up this time. His manga was getting better and better and Ichigo couldn't wait to see the finished product, but it wouldn't do if he was dead from exhaustion.

Ichigo had most of his stuff packed in boxes, just needing to finish packing his clothes. He would have just carried it all over here one by one, but Shiro hadn't given him a key yet. He didn't really have the time, so he kept his door unlocked for Ichigo. Risky but Ichigo was glad.

"Come on, the sooner this is done, the faster you can finish and sleep," Ichigo urged, Shiro leaning his head against the door. He blinked a few times, sighing loudly to express his exhaustion.

"Please?" Ichigo whispered, moving closer and pressing his nose against his cheek.

"Please Shiro?" He leaned closer his lips brushing over his ear, whispering huskily.

"Please please Shiro? Oh Shiro please?"

"Fine!" Shiro gave in, heading to Ichigo's apartment. When the door was opened, he regretted it. He had boxes as big as boulders sitting in the living room, Shiro thinking of turning around and leaving. He didn't think Ichigo would be so glad about that though and huffed a breath, going up to one of the boxes.

He bent his knees, managing to get his finger's beneath the massive box. He took in a deep breath and lifted, grunting as gravity tried to push it back down. He picked it up though, clenching his teeth as he nearly fell backwards.

"What the fuck is in here?" Shiro growled, Ichigo walking into the living room and laughing as Shiro walked to the door. He was hoping to god it would fit.

"That holds all my stuff I kept from high school and college. You know trophies, jersey's, pictures, yearbooks and what not," Ichigo replied, watching as Shiro struggled to get the box through the door. He tilted it, nearly smashing his fingers but getting through. Ichigo clapped, Shiro sending him a glare. Ichigo laughed, picking up a box of his own. It was lighter than the one Shiro got, Ichigo walking to his apartment.

"You should be more excited," Ichigo huffed, Shiro rolling his eyes as he placed the box on the ground and walked out. Ichigo let him do that as he went into his room and began packing up all his clothes. They worked like this for a good hour, Ichigo sighing as he lifted the box of clothes and went to Shiro's apartment, dropping it down uncaringly over a box of his collected movies and Cd's. Shiro was sitting on the couch, asleep like a rock.

Ichigo grinned, walking around the boxes and standing in front of him, straddling his thighs. He didn't even budge. Ichigo bit his lip, leaning close.

"I love you." Shiro woke up from a dead sleep, his eyes opening.

"Love you too," he said in a clear voice, his eyes closing as he became a rock again. Ichigo covered his mouth, feeling like he just invoked a terrible yet beautiful curse. He decided to keep that to himself, getting off his lap and heading back to his apartment. He stood in the middle of it all, taking it all in. He remorsed over old memories and smiled over earlier ones, taking in a deep breath.

He wanted to say something dramatic, say something that would end this part of his life for good.

"Good bye."

He jumped when he felt arms encircle his waist, looking over his shoulder and smiling when Shiro yawned.

"What did you do?" Shiro whispered into his ear, Ichigo shivering. He leaned against him, humming when he kissed his neck.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, Shiro kissing a trail up to the side of his lips. Ichigo tilted his head, giving him a chaste kiss.

"I got a boner, that means you did something when I napped," Shiro replied, Ichigo's cheeks going red.

He was kind of glad he didn't remember his confession. Ichigo chuckled when Shiro's hand slid up his shirt, his fingers running over his forming abs. He had started to work out more, wanting to be perfect for Shiro. Shiro said he liked his fat more, it gave him something to bite into.

Ichigo groaned when his phone rang, Shiro holding onto him tighter. He released him though instead of clinging, placing his arms on his shoulders lazily.

He could wait.

Ichigo had wanted him to continue but fished his phone from his pocket, answering with a frown.

"Hello?"

"Ichigo Renji fell down the stairs after trying to walk. I think he has a concussion," Rukia's frantic voice replied over the phone, Ichigo tensing. Shiro felt it, his eyes narrowing.

"Take him to the hospital now, i'll meet you there," Ichigo told her, hanging up. Shiro removed his arms, his exhaustion evaporated.

A slow shiver ran up his spine.

Something bad was about to happen. He felt fear, the lionesses eyes appearing in his mind.

He was about to face a monster.

**Author's note: Rukia has suspicions. Are they gonna be confirmed?**


	15. Chapter 15: Break

**Chapter 15**

Ichigo rushed into the hospital, Shiro behind him. Rukia was sitting in the waiting room, her foot tapping anxiously.

"Rukia!" Ichigo called, uncaring he was disturbing the peace that had choked the cramped room. Rukia looked up, her eyes seeming shrunken into her face. They were puffy, tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, he said he could do it," Rukia sobbed, Ichigo hugging her. Shiro was looking at the doors that led into the main part of the hospital.

"It's okay, you didn't know," Ichigo comforted, Shiro turning to her.

"No it's not okay. He barely managed to reach me. Common sense would have said he would fall," Shiro growled, Rukia taking in a sharp breath.

"He told me he could do it!" she yelled at him, her tears increasing ten fold. Shiro was about to say more but Ichigo raised a hand. He looked to him, Ichigo shaking his head with a frown.

"We all don't think the same. We all couldn't have known this would happen," Ichigo interjected, using experience over his anger. He wanted to yell at Rukia too, but it wouldn't change the fact it had already happened. Shiro huffed but didn't say any more on it.

"How long has he been in there?" Ichigo asked, Rukia shrugging her shoulders.

"Five minutes probably. Ichigo, h-he wouldn't wake up," Rukia sobbed, Ichigo hushing her as Shiro eyed her angrily. He understood Ichigo wanted him to drop it, and he felt a tad childish for his outburst, but she should have known.

Or did she just trust him that much?

XXX

Renji was stuck in a world of white. He looked around, putting a hand to his head when it throbbed.

"You know, I hadn't realized this would happen." Renji turned, his face going pale like he had saw a ghost. No, he wasn't seeing one. He was seeing himself.

His other self pushed off a wall, walking up to him.

"I had saw this coming, but for you to give them your blessing so easily? Ichigo had been your lover," his other self tsked, Renji gritting his teeth.

"I don't know what happened to me, but I have no right to do anything to separate them. They seemed happy together. Is that so bad?" Renji asked, his other self frowning.

"Do you wanna see why I loved him so much? No, I don't think it was ever the right word. Do you wanna see why I wanted to control him?" Renji moved back when he outstretched his hand, his other self smirking softly. It was sad in a way.

"You know, I never meant for any of this to happen. But he was so willing to please. I needed to return the part of me that I had lost." Renji took another step back, shaking his head.

"I don't want to know," he hissed, his other self disappearing. Renji found himself in a prison cell, his eyes darting around. His eyes landed on a prone body laying on a bed, a body guard standing next to his bed. Renji felt like vomiting when he saw himself spread his legs when the man ordered, his eyes lidded with lust.

"I was far from being raped. I had an affair with him, and how I enjoyed it. At first I was reluctant but…" Renji hissed when a finger entered his other self, the feeling running through his body. He fell to his knees, going into an all fours position as he growled. His other self moaned, begging for more.

"It took me a while to realize I was being used. But the pleasure was so worth it. But I wanted to feel how it was on top. Ichigo was so eager…" The vision slipped away, Renji falling to the ground as the pleasure subsided.

"He felt so sorry for me, thinking the men here had raped me. They respected me. I was part of a family here. I was sad to leave." Renji stood up on shaky legs, looking up to the Renji in front of him.

"What monster did you become?" he hissed, his other self blinking. He tilted his head, bursting out with laughter.

"What monster?! I didn't become a monster. I became a God!" Renji stood up slowly, his other self sighing as he gave him a fake sympathetic stare.

"God's do not spread there legs like whores," Renji hissed, his other self smirking.

"True, but you would know that wouldn't you?" Renji found himself beneath the bodyguard, his shaggy brown hair tickling his cheek as he thrust into him. Renji gasped, his nails scratching down his back.

"S-Starrk harder!" he whispered, feeling vomit rise in his throat as he grabbed his thigh and lifted it, thrusting harder and faster into his body. He found himself back in the white room, his other self lying on top of him.

"Not only me, but you enjoyed it so much," his other self whispered into his ear as his hand slid into his pants. Renji pushed him away, gasping as his head throbbed. He was above Ichigo now, his face and chest red with arousal, his head thrown back as Renji took him on the couch.

"You enjoyed this. The control you got when he obeyed your every order. Wouldn't you get angry if someone tried to take that from you?" Renji gasped when Ichigo's face was replaced with his own, his throat closing up as vomit came up.

"Wouldn't you want control after all this?"

Memories from his entire life were flashed before his eyes, Renji gasping as he threw his head back. His childhood had been terrible, his father beating him as his mother did drugs. In high school he was used by females, getting a few pregnant but forcing them to kill it. He couldn't take care of them anymore than he could himself. His adulthood as he was ordered around by his boss, then the murder. It slowed down, Renji groaning as electricity snapped up his spine.

"Why did you rape Ichigo?" Renji growled as they stood in an alley, Grimmjow grinning.

"Rape? No I didn't do that. I violated his sweet body and fucked him into oblivion. He can go on and on if you let him. I knew it hurt him, but if he wasn't going to speak up, then why should I stop?" Renji's vision turned red. It flashed white suddenly, a scream tore from his throat as he was thrown against a wall. His other self walked up to him, his body stripped bare as cum leaked from his ass and down his thighs.

"I wanted control. No I needed. And I'm not going to let a mishap like you stop me," his other self hissed, Renji getting up slowly. He barely noticed he was naked, his cock soft between his thighs. He took a deep breath, looking down when he felt pain shoot up his leg. He looked to it, seeing his left leg was replaced with the prosthetic, pain shooting up his leg again.

"You had a chance, naive me. But this is you now." Renji looked up, his other self standing right in front of him. His finger ran over his cheek, trailing down to his chin. He lifted his chin, Renji glaring daggers at him.

His vision changed, his head lowered as he listened to Ichigo's cries from the next room.

"Shiro has to die for touching what is ours. Don't you agree?" The white walls returned, his other self smirking. His eyes were murderous.

He wasn't this man. His lips were centimeters from his before he spoke.

"I don't care about what you went through. Ichigo deserved every right to escape you." His other self stopped, his lips pulling up into a sneer. He released his chin harshly, taking a step back.

"I'll accept you'll memories, but I won't accept the man you had become. I had become. I saw Ichigo, I saw his happiness. I won't let you or myself destroy that." His other self slowly began to dissipate. His teeth shown in a toothy grin.

"I will always be you. In you. Beside you. I'll weigh on your mind till you break and I can take over once again." Renji grinned back, flipping him off.

"Well then, you better learn to like kissing my ass," he replied, his other self's grin faltering before he was completely erased.

"Before I leave, I have something to do, don't you think?"

Renji woke up.

XXX

Rukia was silent as they stood in the waiting room, her eyes locked on the floor. She was angry at Shiro. She knew what she did wasn't the smartest thing, but Renji had been so confident. He had no right to snap at her so rudely.

Ichigo was talking to Shiro in a low voice, Rukia sniffling as she thought. How did the two get to know each other so well anyway? Why Shiro?

"Ichigo, can I talk to you in private?" Rukia whispered, Ichigo looking to her. He nodded, standing up. She got up slowly, her legs shaking. She walked to the other side of the room, looking back to Shiro who had turned his attention to the TV.

"Ichigo, can I ask something sensitive?" Rukia asked, Ichigo nodding again. He looked tired and a tad irritated, so Rukia tried to use the least hurtful words she could muster.

"Is Shiro… forcing you to be with him?" Ichigo's eyes went wide, Rukia feeling like her thesis was true. But then his eyes narrowed and she saw him bristle with slight, barely restrained anger. She ruled out that thesis.

"No, I was very willing," Ichigo replied, Rukia biting her bottom lip. That left her other thesis.

"Ichigo, did you and Shiro have an affair?" Ichigo went a tad pale, Rukia's eyes going wide as he looked to the side.

He had? So Renji getting mad at him for having an affair was true!

She was about to respond but then they heard a scream. They both turned, looking to the doors that led into the main part of the hospital. Shiro stood, his eyes narrowed in confusion. Ichigo took a step back when a slow shiver ran up his spine.

The doors busted open and Renji walked out, people looking to him. They began to scream and scatter when they saw the blood on his hospital gown and the scalpel in his bloody hand. He turned to Ichigo with tear streaked eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, walking up to him. Rukia pushed him away, Shiro quickly coming to his side. Renji looked to her, his eyes stoic.

"Listen Renji, I know in your in there. You can't let your memories control you!" she yelled at him, Renji walking up to her. She didn't dare move, Renji touching a finger to her lips. She scrunched up her nose in disgust when blood smeared on her skin.

"Forgive me." Rukia fell to the ground when Renji punched her in the stomach, her eyes closed as she was knocked unconscious.

"I have no control," Renji sobbed, turning to Ichigo and Shiro. Shiro put Ichigo behind him, raising a hand.

"Renji, you're experiencing a mental breakdown. Your mind can't handle it all. I understand, but killing people is not going to help," Shiro told him, Renji wiping away his tears, smearing blood all over his face.

He looked like a monster.

"Make him stop," Renji sobbed, Shiro taking a cautious step forward. Renji ran towards him with a yell, Shiro pushing Ichigo far away before charging forward. He grabbed Renji's hand holding the scalpel, Renji's other hand wrapping around his throat.

"You took him away from me!" Renji roared, Shiro grunting as he lifted a leg and kicked him in the groin. Renji fell to his knees, Shiro releasing his hand as the blood made it slip from his hand.

He froze. He could hear Ichigo screaming, could feel the cold metal and warm hand against his flesh. He looked down, the scalpel unseen as it was stabbed through his stomach. He gasped, Renji pulling the scalpel away. He grinned up at him as his blood poured from the wound.

"Ichigo is mine only… He could never be yours!" Renji went to stab him again but a hand caught his. Shiro took a few steps back, Ichigo coming into his view. His eyes were dark, his lips pulled down into a scowl.

Renji went flying when he kicked him, hitting the wall with the grunt. The scalpel had dropped a few feet away from him. He and Ichigo looked to it, Renji darting towards it just as Ichigo did. Ichigo got to it first, punching Renji in the face. Renji fell back, blood spurting from his mouth when he hit the floor.

"I don't care how much you went through. Release Renji you abusive bitch!" Ichigo growled, Renji getting up slowly. Ichigo looked behind him, his heart dropping when he saw the pool of blood that had started to form around Shiro.

He had to end this quick.

"You had an affi-"

"So what! Shiro was the best thing that ever happened to me, not you!" Ichigo charged forward, Renji raising his fist. Ichigo aimed his fist to the side of his head, his eyes narrowing. He was going to knock him out. That was the only way to make this Renji disappear.

"I had loved you…" Ichigo punched him hard, flinching when his head slammed against the wall with a sickening thud. Renji fell to the ground, his body seeming near lifeless besides the slow rise and fall of his chest. Ichigo stared at him for a moment, hearing a low groan.

He turned to Shiro, running towards him.

"Medic!" he screamed, putting a hand to his stomach, pulling away. It was stained with his blood.

"I-Ichigo i'm so s-sorry," Shiro said shakily, his fingers cold as they linked with his. Ichigo wasn't going to say good bye. He refused to say goodbye!

"Medic!" he yelled again, the doors opening slowly as a nurse exited. She was scared to the bone, but when she saw Shiro she ran back in, yelling for someone to get a stretcher. Ichigo put pressure to his wound, trying to stop the blood flow.

"Don't you dare die on me!" Ichigo growled, Shiro gasping as tears fell down his cheeks.

"Shiro look at me," Ichigo ordered, Shiro's head turning slowly. His eyelids were near closing, Ichigo holding back his tears as he screamed for the nurse to hurry up. He wasn't going to die here. He refused to let him die!

"We don't have a surgeon!" The nurse gasped as she and four other's exited the main lobby, picking Shiro up and putting him on the stretcher. A man got on the stretcher and straddled his legs, putting heavy pressure to his wound.

"I'm a surgeon," Ichigo told her, the nurse relieved. They managed to get the bleeding to slow down enough, doing an ultrasound to make sure none of his organs were penetrated. It had been centimeters away from his liver.

"Move it!" Ichigo yelled as they rushed to the surgery room, his eyes narrowed as he took deep breaths to calm himself. He had never been so scared in his life. To perform surgery on his lover was the hardest thing to do. He threw away all his feelings as he targeted the area where the bleeding was coming from, his hands on the verge of shaking as he closed off the artery. It had been barely severed, but it was enough to cause trouble.

When he finished and the wound was closed, he almost fell to his knees. But he knew he had to check up on Renji. He had to check his skull to make sure he had not worsened the fracture to his skull. He convinced the police who had came to let him check, some nurses helping him put him on a stretcher.

They got him in and Ichigo was near frightened. If he had worsened the fracture, it could have caused internal bleeding, another loss of memory, or death. He didn't know what he was going to see.

Surprisingly, he was just fine.

Did that mean that the other Renji was still in control?

**Author's note: I had not been expecting this. Will Renji's other side be put to rest, or is he still lurking?**


	16. Chapter 16: Star Peanut

**Chapter 16**

Ichigo walked out of the courthouse, Shiro waiting by the Supra. Ichigo grinned, sending him a kiss. Shiro stuck his tongue out. Ichigo chuckled, stopping on the steps and turning around. Renji had just stepped out, seeming a tad tired. In the end he pleaded insanity, jail time put behind him. The case had taken forever, but Ichigo was glad it was finally over. He would have to see a psychiatrist and a therapist to deal with the other one, but he was back to normal.

Ichigo had been shocked when he woke up after the brain scan. He had looked to him like he was an angel. Then he cried. He had not only almost killed two people that day, but he had all the memories that he had forgotten. It was hard on him, but Ichigo was glad the friend he had missed was back.

Surprisingly, the nurse he stabbed had been wearing a metal pin. The pin protected her heart, directing the scalpel to her breast. The tissue there saved her.

He was to live with Rukia still since she had offered. Ichigo was glad she didn't place a restraining order. He had a feeling she was in love with him.

"Ichigo?" Ichigo raised a brow when Renji spoke, wondering what he had to say. He gasped when he nearly fell back when he hugged him, chuckling as he wrapped his arms around him. He was glad the steps were fat as fuck.

"I am so sorry for everything," Renji whispered, pulling away. Neither spoke of their affairs. That was a lost history to them both.

"It's okay Renji. You'll still be my friend," Ichigo replied, patting his back. He looked behind him when a honk was blown, grinning when Shiro waved a hand. Renji waved, smiling.

"Go, he seems impatient," Renji told him, Ichigo smiling again.

If it weren't for this man, where would he have been?

"I'm going to the club tonight for it's new opening. Had been remodeled and everything. Come and watch me," Ichigo invited, Renji rolling his eyes before slapping his back.

"I will but go," Renji urged, Rukia coming to his side. Ichigo grinned, ruffling Rukia's hair before running down the steps. He was glad this was finally being put behind him.

"Took you long enough! I have a present for you so get in," Shiro ordered when he got to him, Ichigo jumping into his arms. Shiro caught him by the thighs, taking his kisses.

The present could wait just a few more minutes.

"Get a room!" Renji yelled at them, Ichigo chuckling as he pulled away. Shiro grinned back, letting Ichigo slide down slowly. He flipped off Renji before opening the passenger car door, Ichigo getting in. Shiro closed the door and got in, putting the key in the ignition.

"So where you taking me?" Ichigo asked as he leaned close, placing kisses on his neck. It was their fifth month together, but they still couldn't keep their hands off each other. Shiro put the car in drive, going off slow so he wouldn't get pulled over. He put a hand on Ichigo's thigh, squeezing lightly.

"I'm not going to tell you and put your seat belt on," he ordered, Ichigo sighing as he did. Shiro did the same, pretending he had done it earlier. Ichigo rolled his eyes, slumping back in his seat.

"Can I guess?" Ichigo asked, Shiro nodding as he turned a corner. He sped off, the cops no longer in his sight.

"Is it dinner?" Ichigo asked, Shiro shaking his head. Ichigo swished his mouth in thought, a habit he picked up from Shiro. Shiro smirked, his hand sliding up his thigh.

"Every time you don't guess right, my hand will move," Shiro threatened, Ichigo taking a sharp breath.

"A car?" Ichigo gasped when his hand went between his thighs, tickling the hell out of him. He grabbed his wrist and squirmed, trying to think of something as he squeezed his inner thigh.

"Shiro stop!" Ichigo finally screeched, Shiro grinning as he let his hand become flat. Ichigo eased back into his seat with a shiver, punching his arm.

"A dog?" he guessed, his belt undone. Ichigo gulped, looking back to Shiro with wide eyes.

He was just joking right?

"Shopping spree?" His button and zipper were undone, his hand lingering over the entrance it created. Ichigo swallowed thickly, pushing his hand just slightly. It wouldn't go in though. Ichigo sighed, wanting it bad.

"Your manga!" he gasped, remembering it had finally gotten done. It wouldn't be released for a while, but Ichigo was hoping it could have been released now.

Shiro's hand went into his pants. Ichigo jumped but it left just as quickly.

"We're here." Ichigo glared at him, a small pout on his lips. He did up his pants and belt, looking to the building they had stopped in front of.

"Meows?" Ichigo whispered, Shiro smirking as he got out. Ichigo followed, fixing his pants. He looked through the window, his heart melting as a small black kitty looked back.

"A cat?!" Ichigo exclaimed, Shiro nodding with a chuckle.

"I talked to the landlord and he said it was fine if we take in a pet. He was actually good friends with my father and knew who I was," Shiro told him, Ichigo getting a tad curious. They hadn't made a plan to meet each other's parents yet, and Ichigo talked about his more than Shiro did. He fiddled with his fingers for a second, Shiro looking to him. When he saw his unsure face his smile dropped.

"Did you want a dog?" he asked, Ichigo shaking his head with a chuckle. Shiro relaxed with a sigh, walking up to him. He kissed his forehead, cupping his cheeks.

"Then what is it?" he asked, Ichigo looking away with a blush.

"Who is your father, exactly? Not to sound rude, but it seems like everyone knows him," Ichigo whispered, Shiro's eyes going wide. His expression became less shocked before laughing, pulling away.

"He is a famous rapper, Andre Bella. He sings in french, which happens to be my native language. I grew up with my mother though who was a famous author, Isabelle Bella. I didn't stay home a whole lot. I was only in Africa that time of the accident because he was shooting a music video there. He was angry as fuck at me but forgave me. I went on my own to find my own talent."

Ichigo blinked. He knew both of those people. He was their biggest fan.

"Wait wait wait!" Ichigo gasped, his eyes going wide.

"You are the son of the Bella's?" Ichigo whispered, Shiro rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah. Zaki Bella. I didn't want you to know in the beginning because I didn't know if you would have wanted me for my money or not. Plus it was a miracle I escaped the paparazzi's radar" Shiro chuckled, Ichigo looking to the Supra.

Is that how he got such an expensive car?

"Fuck i'm their biggest fan," Ichigo breathed, his eyes becoming starry. Shiro laughed, kissing Ichigo before pinching his cheek. He yelped, slapping his hand away.

"Don't tell me you like my parents more than me?" Shiro asked with a pout, Ichigo shaking his head with a grin.

"I like you a lot more," Ichigo said huskily, Shiro chuckling before turning to the building.

"Let's go, kittens are waiting!" They entered the small building and looked around, Ichigo going to the small kitten he saw in the window. Shiro went somewhere else to find his own, Ichigo cooing gently to it. The kitten stood, walking away from it's mother to him. It's mother eyed it then him for a second but didn't get up.

"That's Star," the shopkeeper said behind him, Ichigo trying hard to not jump in fear. He was sure he would scare the kitten away that way.

"The kitten?" Ichigo asked, the shopkeeper nodding. He lifted it up gently, Ichigo seeing it was a girl. He showed him her belly, a patch of white shaped like a star near her chest. Ichigo thought that was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

"I'll take her," he said with a smile, petting her star. She meowed softly, batting his hand with her paw, scratching him. Ichigo just chuckled, petting beneath her chin. She purred, the shopkeeper letting him hold her, showing him how.

Shiro came to his side, a kitten held in his arms.

"This is Peanut," he chuckled, the brown, orange, and white kitten looking to him. Ichigo's heart fell to pieces. Half it's face was orange with white stripes, the other side white with grey stripes.

"He or she?" Ichigo asked, Shiro checking.

"He," he replied, Ichigo looking down to Star. Would they make beautiful kittens?

"I wanna freaking smother them," Ichigo growled playfully, Star meowing back at him. They bought them, getting all they needed to raise them properly. They went home happily, Star and Peanut sleeping on a blanket in a large cage. Ichigo wanted to smother them just looking at them.

They had decided to leave them in their room till they got of age, the two full of energy as they moved around.

"I'm going to die if they get any cuter," Ichigo whispered as he rested against Shiro, smirking when he picked up Peanut. Star was already on the bed, her back pressed against Ichigo's stomach. After an hour of adventure she just collapsed and slept like a rock. That reminded Ichigo of Shiro.

Shiro put Peanut on his chest, the small kitten crawling up slowly. Shiro kissed his paw when he stretched it out, Ichigo watching with a smile. Peanut seemed confused and a tad stunned, stretching out his paw again. Shiro kissed it again, Peanut looking at him for a moment. He slapped his face, Shiro laughing as he moved him off his chest, going onto his side, facing Ichigo.

"Go sleep," Shiro whispered, Peanut laying down. He reached out a paw, patting Shiro's face, clawing it slightly. Shiro moved his head away, Ichigo chuckling as Peanut looked at him. He pat his neck instead, Shiro laughing before picking him up. He put him on the floor, putting Star down there with him. She didn't even open an eyeball.

Yup, she was just like Shiro.

Ichigo smirked, Shiro moving closer and kissing his nose. Ichigo scrunched it up, moving his head away. Shiro chuckled, bringing him back and kissing his lips. Ichigo gasped softly when his hand slipped up his shirt, his fingers rubbing over his nipple.

"Baby I love you," Shiro whispered against his ear, Ichigo's eyes going wide. He gasped when he pinched his nipple, his eyes becoming lidded.

"I-I love you too," Ichigo whispered, Shiro pushing him onto his back. Ichigo felt like he could barely keep his eyes open when he pushed up his shirt, straddling his thighs. Ichigo's cheeks became red and he panted as his tongue ran around his pinkish flesh, his teeth biting down onto his nipple before he pulled, Ichigo moaning softly.

Shiro released it, grinning before he lapped at it like a thirsty dog. Ichigo put a hand to his head, keeping him there. He felt a hand touch his stomach, a small smile touching his lips. Shiro loved his stomach for some reason, touching and kissing it at random times. Ichigo thought it was cute though.

"Ima fuck you till you die. Then revive you and do it again," Shiro chuckled against his flesh, Ichigo laughing at his weirdness. He gasped though when his hand slid down his stomach to his groin, Shiro going low. Ichigo grabbed his hair, biting his bottom lip as his pants were pulled off and his legs were placed on his shoulders and he was spread wide.

Ichigo's other arm went over his eyes, his feet digging into his back as he stuck his tongue deep inside. Ichigo pushed down slightly, a moan slipping past his lips when he inserted two fingers and stretched him. His tongue snuck back in, Ichigo arching up when it touched the sweet spot inside him.

"Why is your tongue so long?" Ichigo panted, moaning when he swiped his tongue against the bundle of nerves again. Shiro pulled away, rising onto his knees, Ichigo letting his legs drop as he stared up at him lustfully. The light behind him brightened his skin, giving him the appearance of an angel. The light flickered, the shape of wings appearing behind him.

Ichigo felt like his soul was stolen.

Shiro got the lube, slicking himself up. Ichigo went to get on all fours but Shiro stopped him.

"I wanna see your face," Shiro told him, Ichigo falling down onto his back. The bed creaked slightly from the sudden drop of weight, but Ichigo knew it would protesting later once they got started.

Shiro laid over him, reaching down and lining himself up, looking to make sure as he pressed in. He grit his teeth as he sank in slowly, Ichigo raising his legs and pushing them to his chest, holding onto his thighs. Shiro gave him a sexy smile, closing his eyes when he fully sheathed himself. He slapped Ichigo's hands away, holding his thighs and spreading them slightly.

"Fuck I missed this," Shiro hissed, Ichigo gasping when his cock twitched inside him, the feeling of nausea drowned out by pleasure. He was so full, Ichigo closing his eyes as he panted.

"You fucked me last night," Ichigo panted, gasping when he he pulled out then pushed in slowly, making him feel every inch of his cock inside him.

"It's never enough," Shiro growled as he spread his own legs slightly, rolling his stomach as he pulled out then thrusted back in with more strength. Ichigo moaned, arching up when he brushed past his prostate.

"I love the way you squeeze me. Love the way your thighs flex as you accept me inside you," Shiro groaned, Ichigo scratching his nails down his abdomen.

"Harder, be rough with me," Ichigo panted, Shiro looking down to him. He released his thighs, placing his hands beside his head. Ichigo gasped as he seemed to go deeper, his lips pulling up into a smirk.

"Like this?" He began to thrust fast and hard, Ichigo rocking up till his head began to hit against the bed frame, his hand coming up to protect it. He pushed against it, slanting his hips and slamming down against his thrusts. His stomach jumped with each thrust, Ichigo crying out as Shiro grinded against him.

"Or like this?" he slowed down his thrusts, putting more strength behind them. Ichigo drooled as his hips rolled up against his ass, his entire body shaking from the force. His thighs shook as pleasure zapped up his spine, his cock leaking precum onto his stomach. Ichigo couldn't speak, didn't want too. He just wanted to feel and enjoy, his eyes rolling into the back of his head when Shiro stopped, grinding against him.

"What do you want?" Shiro whispered into his ear, his body heat burning Ichigo alive. His body was covered in sweat, his thighs and chest red with arousal. Ichigo put a hand to his chest, a whimpering moan escaping his throat when he thrust hard into him. Ichigo turned his head away, gasping for breath when Shiro suddenly stopped.

"S-Shiro!" Ichigo gasped, Shiro grinning as he licked his neck. He hummed, the vibration running through his body. Ichigo wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him with all of his soul. He nipped his lips and tongue, sucking it into his mouth before pressing down against him, taking in a sharp breath.

He wanted it all.

Shiro's hips slowly started back up, the rhythm sloppy but pleasurable. Ichigo moaned into his mouth, pulling away with a gasp. He looked down to where they connected, his hands shaking as they reached down.

Shiro's eyes went wide when he felt long fingers touch the base of his cock, looking down. Ichigo's fingers could barely reach, but they went around and grabbed his balls, pulling softly before he rolled them against his palm. Shiro felt like cumming right there.

"There so hot and heavy," Ichigo husked, Shiro groaning when he squeezed softly.

"Put them inside me," Ichigo whispered, Shiro looking to him with wide eyes.

Was that even humanely possible?

"How?" Shiro whispered, Ichigo smiling shakily as he touched the base of his cock again. He pulled against the flesh around his cock, hissing softly as he worked in a finger. Shiro groaned at the sight, feeling his finger wiggle against his cock.

He had never been so turned on in his life.

"Fill me up," Ichigo moaned, pulling on his skin softly. Shiro had no idea what he was doing, helping Ichigo stretch himself enough. He had large balls, and he wasn't sure if he could even get half of it in. Ichigo hissed and moaned as they stretched him to the point of tearing, Shiro thrusting in deep. Ichigo's other hand pushed his balls closer, his eyes lidded with lust as he arched when they popped in.

He felt so full and so good, Ichigo closing his eyes as he moaned and writhed beneath him. Shiro thrust in shallowly, gripping the sheets as that sent the most hellish pleasure up his spine. He pulled out with a wet pop, grabbing the base of his cock to hold off his orgasm. Ichigo opened his eyes, turning onto his back. He flicked his long hair over his shoulder, reaching behind himself.

He pressed in one finger, Shiro watching with lustful eyes. Ichigo pressed in another, spreading his tiny hole. Shiro licked his lips, leaning down and licking his wet hole. Ichigo moaned, pulling him away by his hair. His face was pressed against the mattress and his neck hurt, but he wanted to cum.

"Fuck me hard and fast and don't stop till you cum," Ichigo whispered, Shiro shivering as he straightened up.

"You're crazy," Shiro chuckled, pressing back into his body. He fucked Ichigo into the mattress, the bed creaking in protest with each thrust. Ichigo loved every moment of it, screaming into the sheets till his throat was sore. Shiro gripped his ass cheeks, spreading them as he thrust harder. He came with a howl, falling beside Ichigo. Ichigo had came twice, his thighs shaking as he fell onto Shiro's chest.

He looked to the mirror on the closet door after a long moment, a small smirk touching his lips.

"Shiro?" He hummed in response, running his fingers through his hair.

"The kittens were watching us through the mirror."

**Author's note:**

**Me: And Cut! Thank you Ichigo and Shiro for starring in this story!**

**Renji: You're forgetting me…**

**Me: Sorry! Thank all three of you for starring in this story.**

**Rukia: An-**

**Me: And everyone else I have not mentioned! I am very proud of you guys, also sorry Ichigo for putting you through that torture.**

**Ichigo: *grumble***

**Me: Well, thank you all. Thanks and good bye!**


End file.
